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Can a relationship work after an affair?

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message #:
  1144.1
replies:
  1
from:
  mountart
date:
  Nov-5 12:25 pm

Hi, I'm a 51 year old male. 3 years ago i met a woman S and started to fall in love with her. I had a hard time trusting anyone could fall in love with me and be faithful because in the 4 serious relationships i had previously, i had been cheated on.
so while i was falling in love with this woman S, who was living over-seas, i continued to date and have sex with other women. Then me and S agreed to live together, she was going to leave her country and move in with me. I began to feel secure in her love and decided to stop seeing and having sex with these other women, none of which were serious relationships.
after S moved in, she found out that i was seeing other women and having sex with them. She was deeply hurt not only for what i had done and for the way she felt betrayed, but because she sacrificed so much to come live me and for the fact that she had been cheated on by her ex husband.
i love this women very much and wanted to try and make our relationship work. she agreed to try as well, saying she loved me very much as well.
that was a year and a half ago. at first, things looked like they had a chance. but over time it now feels like we are just friends. i tell her every day how much i love her, how i want us to be together and that she means the world to me. i have not been with anyone else or cheated on her, i am very remorseful for betraying her trust. i have tried everything to make her feel special and wanted and loved. she says she is not the same women she was and it will take something to happen for her to feel she can trust me again.
i know things can never be the same, but i always thought because we loved each other so much we could make a new start of it and make our relationship work.
now i am not too sure. if she can't get over it in a year and a half, when will she? if she feels there is nothing i can do to make her feel better, that it just has to happen, what am i to do? not having the love returned is killing me slowly every day. i love her and can't see myself with anyone else, but if it's not working, and she can't get over what i did, when do i have to face the facts and realize this is never going to work... or do i need to give it more time?
thanks for any help in this matter, r
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