Ask the Relationship Saver

Hi,

Just checking in - how are things going?  Are you and you DS settling in at all?

{{{{Hugs}}}} and hope all is well.

I really wish there was an easy way to fix what you are going through.

Remember the 5 different stages of the grieving process?  Denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.  It sounds like you are processing through at least 4 of those right now.  Take your time, journal it out.  Keep tabs on what you are feeling each day and why. 

Your DH wont get it, Im afraid.  He will give you what he can piece together, as long as it doesnt deflect from his wants.  It really seems he is incapable of anything more.

This is the time to build on yourself.  Invest in your son, invest in yourself.  Invest in what is best for you and your child.  Get back out into life, meet new people and start building a circle of individuals that brings the best out in you, provides you the comfort and friendship you crave.  And eventually you will find yourself in a good place.  And most likely you will also find yourself meeting someone who compliments and satisfies you.

Hi,

Remember that definition of insanity?

Did you make the list of things you want out of your relationship?  It's my guess you're not getting one single thing, so maybe it's time to ask yourself exactly what you are getting, besides stuck with the check.

He still has his apartment, right?  And he's going to need to start paying for it himself here shortly.  Hope he's getting ready.

I don't think it's going to be possible for you to work on yourself when you can't see who you are.  You're spending most of your time trying to hold together a relationship - how is that doing a single thing for the betterment of you? 

OK, I know you're going through a really rough time, and I know you really, really wanted this to work out.  However, you want what you want, and guess what - he wants what he's already got!  Why should he change a single thing when it's working out so well for him (well, maybe except for being badgered to change work hours or go to counseling, neither of which he has any intention of doing)?

I hope you're still seeing that you are a person of value too, that what you want isn't unreasonable, and living a life of value and worth includes making yourself happy.