Ask the Relationship Saver

My guess is that he does like you but hasn't recovered from his last relationship and isn't ready to be in a relationship right now.

So it really doesn't matter that he (possibly) likes you, since he's still unavailable.

I think you should start looking elsewhere.

Welcome to the board scarymoviephobic,

When someone is still healing from a previous relationship, they don't make good partners. As long as you want more than friendship, you will continue to be hurt and disappointed when you spend time with him.

Sorry you are going through this.

 

Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't.
- Erica Jong

 

When a guy really wants to be with you, he lets you know it..  If he's ambivalent or unsure or not that interested or whatever else other than *really* interested; he sends you mixed messages.  These mixed messages end up confusing you.. you start questioning everything, what he says, what he means, what you say, what you should have said, what you wished you'd said.. yada yada yada..  What do you want all that drama in your life for? 

When I met the man I live with now, I wasn't all that interested, but that did not stop him from pursuing me..  When we had our first big fight at the 6 month mark, he flew half way round the world to be with me because he was scared I was going to dump him..  THIS is what guys do when they are serious about the woman they are with -- why would you want anything less than this for yourself?   Don't waste your time pining over a guy who just isn't that into you..  I guarantee you there are other men out there in the world that will be that interested - but not if you're too busy pining over mr. work colleague to be available for them!  Whether it's because he's still messed up from his last relationship, or because of work, or whatever, who cares?  He's not showing up and asking you out and in the deep recesses of your mind, you know that when a guy wants to be with a woman, he is - it really is that simple. 

Don't be this guy's friend and go to gal - think about your own feelings here - being friends keeps you hoping and wondering - will he change his mind?  Maybe with enough time..  Maybe if I'm really patient..  The time to get friendly again is when you are over him sufficiently that it wouldn't bother you if you heard that he was dating someone else.  You need to tell him; dude, I really like you and although some part of me really enjoys all the contact we have, I've realized it's keeping me stuck because I keep hoping that you'll want to be with me and I don't think this is a good thing for me, so I think a little space is in order and let's keep things professional and I'll let you know when I'm over you and ready for a friendship.

Best wishes,

Coolas