Making a Second Marriage Work

My DD23 got a DUII last night. 

Luckily my GS3 was not in the car with her.  Her friend who was babysitting would not let her take him.  But did offer to follow her home with GS.  She hit a parked car and with no airbag broke her windshield with her head.

She is fine.  One of my DS and DD friends woke up my DS20 and he went down to the hospital and waited with her and brought her home.  The friend kept my GS. 

I am sick and grateful at the same time.  Sick of what it could have been, and grateful for what it was not. 

I have been in recovery for 12 years and her BD was an active alcoholic when he killed himself back in 1998.  So I know it takes what it takes for each of us to hit bottom. 

I have sponsored and met many women who have lost their kids, gone to jail, etc.  But this just s*cks. 

Luckily they did not tow her car, and until DMV offically takes her license she can still drive.  She will know tonight if her car is still driveable.  I don't think she is fully aware of what will probably be in store for her. 

Sigh.....

I have already talked to people in the program and know what to do, and even more importantly what to not do.  It just makes me sad......

Serenity,

I noticed the board is quiet right now too, but you definitely need HUGS for this one...wow! 

Has this been an ongoing concern that you have had about your DD?

Keep the faith!

Bella

Oh Serenity, BIG HUGS!!!!  When I think about the times I have driven drunk, it makes me sick, sick, sick!  I have been lucky to have never killed anyone or gotten a DUI.  I curtailed my drinking when I became pregnant with my first child, but I have done some stupid, stupid things.  I remember leaving my brother's house Christmas, w/ my son in the car and having to pull off onto the shoulder of the road, because I could drive. 

It is scary to just think about it, and what could have happened.  Frightening.  Be there for her, don't stop loving her.  There is something going on that she needs to deal with, whether it's her self worth or whatever.  Unfortunately, the legal system will take away her license, send her to class and that's about it.  The underlying emotional issues need to be addressed as you well know.   She's probably not going to 'listen' to you.  Too close, too many other things there.  If she could hook up with a mentor outside the family circle, that would be good.

Hugs to you.  I worry about oldest son for these reasons (fortunately he doesn't drive).

Pam

Gosh Serenity - sorry to hear about that.

The joys of children and all the mini-heart attacks they inflict upon us.  I'm sure you were just sick to your stomach and like you said, grateful at the same time.  It may take something like this, the DUI, losing her license, for her to get help and for her to be more responsible the next time.  It is good that her DS wasn't with her.

Bless you Serenity.  (did you sneeze?)  You are put into a strange predicament by wanting to be supportive of your child at the same time wanting to put her in a headlock and ask her what the hll she was thinking. 

((HUGS!))

aprilmagic~

Oh most definately, it has been a concern.  She started drinking around the age of 14 or so.  About the same age I did. 

Having her son in some ways slowed her down.  But I know from experience if you are an alcoholic a child may slow you down for a bit, but it won't stop the progression of the disease.

She is doing well at work and has received two promotions.  It is a cunning and baffling disease.  You don't have to a bum under a bridge to be an active alcoholic.

Thanks for the hug.  :)