Like I said, I understand your frustration. Sounds like a situation that has been building up for what, 11 years?
First of all, yes, that is a false impression to think that once you marry it all family. Heck, I am not even ALL FAMILY with my blood relatives. It is about relationships that take time and nurturing. Nothing is automatic in a relationship. And HIS relationship with his own kids, is not the same as your relationship with his kids. You definately are an outsider to them. You have to earn the merit badge and it sounds like maybe his ex is underminding though efforts. I have gone on and on about expectations. Doing things for people, without the expectation of getting something (even a thank you) in return. Sure, in a perfect world we would be automatically thanked for everything we do, but that is not the case. So, you only do what you do, because you want to do it, not because you expect something in return. Knowing that you kept the kids in a safe environment for awhile, is good enough.
So you moved out of state 2 years ago, and you say this is the best thing to happen and yet, you still sound frustrated. Are there 'things' that happen every day, or once a week, that still get to you? Or, is it just remembering the hurt and frustration?
Pam
The choices we make in thought, word and deed inevitably return to us in kind.
Love 
