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The Secrets of Married Sex

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discussion title:
 

Do I just want what I can't have?

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message #:
  13110.5 in response to 13110.4
replies:
  8
from:
  unhappy-in-love
to:
  my_sex_toy45
date:
  Sep-18 5:30 pm

Wow! Our situations are very similar! And they are very sad situations! I've been married for 23 years. (We dated for five.) I think you and I are both doing the right thing in putting our children's happiness before our own. (You know the old saying, they didn't ask to be brought into this world.) I do realize that it's not healthy for them to see my husband and me fighting, to see that we've slept in separate bedrooms for 10 years, and to not have us being good role models of a happily married couple. I try not to fight in front of them, and I try to act as if everything's better than it is. And I do hope that things will get better, although I'm not sure how that's going to happen. I think it's very sad that you and I are "enduring" our marriages. I still feel young and still have desires and realize that I still have a lot of living I want to do, and "enduring" the rest of my life isn't ideal or desired or even acceptable really. I feel stuck, trapped. I've pretty much given up on being happy in my marriage and am just trying to be happy by myself, but it's a lonely existence.
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discussion title:
 

Do I just want what I can't have?

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message #:
  13110.6 in response to 13110.5
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from:
  humpdaddy
to:
  unhappy-in-love
date:
  Sep-21 5:49 pm

Guys our stories are almost the same. However after 24 years of marriage I devorced my wife and started dating again. Soon I found my match.

(I did wait until the kids were gone)

I am much happier now and the sex has never been better.
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discussion title:
 

Do I just want what I can't have?

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message #:
  13110.7 in response to 13110.5
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from:
  feelnsexy
to:
  unhappy-in-love
date:
  Oct-15 4:37 pm

This is a horrible situation to be in. I have to say thought maybe you should take a closer look at the example you are setting. You may be teaching you kids that it is OK to settle or that it is ok to not value yourself. I am a child of divorce. My parents separated when I was 14, and while it sucked at the time I am now so glad they did not stay together if they were unhappy. I pretty much lost all my extended family when my folks divorced, it was a difficult adjustment but in the long run it has made me a strong independent woman.

I hope you can find what is truly best for you and your children. It can be a tough road but think of the person you want to be and the role model you want to be.


Edited 10/15/2009 4:40 pm ET by feelnsexy
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discussion title:
 

Do I just want what I can't have?

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message #:
  13110.8 in response to 13110.7
replies:
  8
from:
  unhappy-in-love
to:
  feelnsexy
date:
  Oct-16 3:23 pm

Thank you for caring enough to take the time to give me your advice and to share your experience with me. I have thought about what you said, and I am sorry that I'm setting a bad example for my children regarding what a loving marriage should be like. I will give it all further thought and consideration. You're right. It is a horrible situation to be in. Take care, and best wishes!
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