The Secrets of Married Sex

Hey Everyone,

I have a problem and I hope somebody can help me. Sorry if I'm too blunt with my wording lol

My husband and I will be married for 2 months (tomorrow). We dated for 4 years and lived together before we were married.  Lately I've been thinking something is wrong with me..I'm never in the mood for sex. I don't know why! It's not like I'm not attracted to my husband, of course I am! But everytime we go to have sex it either takes me FOREVER to actually get in the mood or I don't ever get in the mood so nothing more happens.  It's really starting to take a toll on us. Of course my poor husband thinks that it is him and that I don't find him "sexy" but I keep telling him it's not you! it is really me. Even when we are messing around..still nothing. And it's like I just get annoyed with the whole thought of it. It's starting to make us fight because he gets frustrated, then I do. I don't know what to do!

:( We are newlyweds and never want sex. What is wrong with me?

The relationship experts I have heard discuss this talk about a whole cocktail of brain chemicals that race through our bloodstreams when relationships are new and fresh and exciting. They make us feel desire, bonding, even the will to do whatever it takes to be in the presence of the object of our desire.

But the body doesn't manufacture these chemicals forever. At some point, they stop being secreted on their own. This may take a day or a few months or a few years. Sometimes they stop right after the marriage. When this occurs, it means it now takes effort to produce those chemicals and the feelings they produce. They say that the only way to create these chemicals is to share exciting, unique experiences together. Creative dating, in other words, may be able to restore some of those relationship-growing hormones. Going to a commonplace dinner and a commonplace movie won't do it. Some element of shared excitement needs to be introduced on a steady basis to re-create that feeling.

I wish you the best.

Some things to consider.  Have you just changed any medications?  Has someone close to you just recently died?  Has a favorite pet just recently died?  Have you just started BC or started a new kind?  Has you DH changed his hygiene habits since you guys got married?  Has there been any kind of stress added to the relationship, job, job security, money issues....the list goes on.

tk