The Secrets of Married Sex

My DH and I have tough time communicating in the bedroom.  In particular, when ever I have asked him if he likes how I do oral on him, he tells me that he always likes it, but when I ask if there are things he would like me to do when I am at it, never gives me anything.  Just says he likes it.  A while back I started playing with his balls an addition to the main event and at first I was getting no reaction from him and then one time he said that I hurting him.  I asked him to tell me how he would prefer I did it, but once again got nothing.  Unfortunately this is a good example of how we communicate, but I still don't know what he likes.

As all people are different, he is the only one that can tell you what he likes. Is he shy? Would it help if the two of you wrote down five things and traded papers with each other? Then look at them together and agree to do one different one each week.

Were you maybe playing/squeezing them to hard? Are you able to communicate with him what your likes and dislikes are?

nhgal, you made me laught.  We've been together for 11 years and he still has problem understanding that dry finger and dry clit do not mix.

No, we are not communicating.  I think I did squize to hard maybe, but he is not telling me how he likes it and unless he tells me, i don't know if I am doing to hard, or not.

Actually, we've both tried to tell each other a couple of things, but things just don't go anywhere.

He told me that he had a hot dream about me wearing certain things, but what he described would look redicuolous on me.  I am very heavy and cannot be wearing things that a woman half my size would be able to pull off.

I told him that I wanted to try anal, after some nudging from me he tried to enter me with out any kind of warm up, obviously that did not go over well, and we never spoke of it again.

I have many more excamples like these. Sad.

May I ask how old the two of you are? Had he had partners before? There is a great site: http://the-clitoris.com/f_html/fr_index.htm. Maybe you can look it over and then suggest he look through it. Or better yet, look through it together.

When you suggested anal, had the two of you talked about it, found out what needed to be done before just sticking it in there? I think anything new like that should be researched to a point and then messed around with slowly.

Please don't take this the wrong way, but maybe with your reaction to his hot dream he had has made him afraid to tell you anything. Why do you feel you can't dress up that way? There are plenty of places, from what I've read around these boards, that heavier women buy from. I do hope some of them come around and offer you some suggestions.