I voted "other." Where to begin?
We've always had some problems...my libido has always been higher than hers. The mismatch wasn't as bad early on. Over the last 12 years, there have been ups and downs. The ups have never lasted for too long and the downs are getting longer. For years, I didn't let it bother as much as it probably would most guys. I knew most of her issues were due to things that happened before we met, medication or the stress of the day -- from work stuff to loved ones passing away -- all the life stuff everyone deals with.
Equally important, she used to clearly make an effort at keeping some level of intimacy going between us a priority.
But oh, since parenthood started. Cold new world. My penis might as well be a museum piece, protected by glass, not to be touched. About once every three or four months, she'll make a production out of us doing it, but I can barely enjoy it because I'm on edge and tense. It feels awkward and out of sync. If I make a move that she's not in the mood for, there a 50-50 chance she'll make sure and kill the mood for both of us by saying something like "I hate it when you do that."
If I try to initiate just a little kissing and petting once in awhile, I get shrugged off. I used to suggest that we just make an effort to touch more, make out just a little. She says "Yes, that's a good idea," then pulls away if a hug last longer than 4 seconds. When I want to talk about how distant our relationship has become, she either gets defensive or says she feels pressured and guilty and then shut-down completely.
And FYI, we both work full time. We both have job stress. I do 90 percent of the cooking, a majority of the house cleaning, home budgeting, yard work, maintenance, etc. At least four, sometimes five nights a week, I'm the one putting our son to bed. I drop him off at pre-school in the morning and I often pick him up a day or two as well. Don't get me wrong, she's a good and attentive mom and spends plenty of time doing mommy things, but I'm the heavy lifter on the domestic duties too.
I still love her. I don't want anyone else. I don't want guilt sex or pity sex and I sure as heck don't want her to do it if her heart is not in it. Basically, until I can get her to wake up to what this could do to our marriage and commit to dealing with it head on, I'm stuck.
Our anniversary is coming up soon and she's hinting that it will be "special," but I almost don't want to get my hopes up. The new pattern is if we do have sex, its a guarantee nothing remotely sexual will happen for the next couple of months. The last time we had any "special time," was in late-August and there has been zero intimate contact between us since.
Whew!
Love 
