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Should I Stay or Should I Go?

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Nov-1


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discussion title:
 

Is this right?

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message #:
  15952.1
replies:
  3
from:
  lil-guardian
date:
  Nov-1 5:18 pm

I want to divorce.  I have been married 9 years. I have a beautiful 5 year old little girl.  I have a really good job and take care of all the financial obligations in our home.  My husband-works for about 3-4 months quits or gets fired and then stays home for 3-6 months.  I am tired of carrying the load. It doesn't seem to bother him and he pretty much expects it.  Two weeks ago I told him I wanted a divorce.  His response was that he had already spoken with his mother and she and him were looking for a place to move in together.  After I told him I wanted a divorce, within 1 week he found a job after supposedly looking for one for 3 months.  Not only is it the employment factor - he is a pig.  He is making me nuts.  All i want is for him to go way.  Anyone else have these problems?  We have not had sex in 3 years, mutual on both of our parts.  I just don't see any reason to continue as this is no longer a relationship.  We live like roommates and the only thing we have in common is our daughter. He has basically ignored the fact that I told him I want a divorce and acts like I made some kind of Joke.  Any thoughts?
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discussion title:
 

Is this right?

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message #:
  15952.2 in response to 15952.1
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from:
  kellyann_25  Member Icon
to:
  lil-guardian
date:
  Nov-1 7:39 pm

If you want to get divorced, then actually go start making the plans to do so. Make an appointment to talk to a lawyer for a consultation. It's going to be much cheaper and easier if you can agree on the terms without having to fight about it, and it's even possible to buy a book to help you fill out the forms yourself without a lawyer if you were so inclined. Once forms are filled out, then he can either sign voluntarily, or you can have him served. While it would be good to get him out of the house for your own sanity, getting divorced in most places can be started before he's moved out.
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discussion title:
 

Is this right?

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message #:
  15952.3 in response to 15952.1
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from:
  cl-bluemackerel  Member Icon
to:
  lil-guardian
date:
  Nov-2 9:03 am

Kellyann is right....... there seems to be no question you have your mind made up "want to go" .  No sex, no compatibility... just annoyance... there may have been good times but they're in the past and don't look to be coming back.  One key thing for a relationship is respect, and neither of you respect each other - he doesn't take what you are saying seriously, and you don't respect him either.  MY one question is- did he find a job because he doesn't want a divorce and thinks that's why you want it- his unemployment?  The other possibility is that he agrees and wants a divorce, and found a job to support himself (finally).

If this is what you want, find a lawyer and mark up the terms you would ideally want, the absolutes, and what you would be flexible on. 
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