Should I Stay or Should I Go?

I dated a great military man for 3 years, the last 6 months of the relationship he was overseas. I'm sure he was under tons of stress, but I can't help but feel him pulling away from me emotionally as the months went on during his tour. I tried to be there for him as much as I could: talking to him everyday, sending him packages, letters and being very supportive. We started fighting near the end about our plans to live together when he returns home. I didn't want to move in as soon as he came home because of his behavior changes, he felt we were ready to take the next step right away.

I feel that because I wasn't committing to an apartment with him, he started letting another woman flirt with him. She lives in my town and I was getting very upset over it, and ultimately she also became part of the reason for our fights. His refusal to completely get rid of her because they work together upset me, she started sending him packages as well.

Anyways, we broke up the last month he was overseas and didn't talk to each other for his remaining tour. When he returned home, I called him and talked to him about giving it another try. So we started dating again and I felt like he was changed, not the man I knew before. I didn't feel like his heart was in it, he moved into an apartment without me and had changed his mind about me moving in with him. He didn't seem to be romantic with me anymore and he started gambling and drinking heavy. I broke up with him a month later and said it was final. He suffers from PTSD and he still wanted me to be friends with him. He kept calling me, emailing me. He was saying strange things like he "should have died fighting for his country overseas" or he "always wants me to be in his life". In terms of our relationship he tells me "I know we shouldn't get back together I just miss being close with you and being intimate" or "I know we're friends but I think of you often". This really hurt me, and my friends told me the break up was too messy to even remain in contact.

So I started blocking him from social networking sites and emails. He would call me from different phone numbers, and I tried for a while to block every single one. I texted him and told him that I was changing my number, that I can't do this anymore. He got really angry, saying that I'm abandoning him and "Have a nice Effing life". I changed my number anyway and I haven't heard from him up until 2 weeks ago. It's been 2 months since I talked to him last and he is still emailing one of my old email accounts, asking me if I'm okay, saying he's sorry for how he's acted and acknowledging in his email he was at fault for our break up. I don't get it. Does he still love me? Is he feeling regrets and wants to make it work? I'm so confused because I want to be with him, but I'm wondering if this will hurt me in the end. I don't know what his intentions are or if I should leave it in the past. I also want to add that I don't know if his PTSD has gotten worse...

I think not only was he suffering from PTSD, you might have had some issues with dating a man whose life was in danger as well.  He probably feels betrayed because you were being distant at a time when he needed something sure in his life, and hence the distance when he got back.  He might see things in a different perspective now too, with being in a different war torn country and seeing life in a differernt way.  With you, he might have felt that he was putting himself out there and didn't want to be hurt. 

 You might not have been ready at that point to face the realities of dating a man in the military.  If things were going well for 2 1/2 years and it was only this time things were going wrong, then if you truly believe you love this man and can stand by him even in the tough times, when he needs you the most, then i say give it your all.  After all he obviously loves you.  But if you don't think you can handle this, if you become distant when he is so far from home, then maybe you should give up this great man for a woman who can handle such great stress.  

I've never been exposed to PTSD, but I've read about it as much as I could to better understand it. Most wives of soldiers express how their husbands have never been the same, and that there is a lot of anger in their men that wasn't there before. I have found this to be the case too. In public he would become angry at things that never bothered him before, like for instance people cutting in line. He even started using swear words in our arguments and never used to before. Maybe swearing for other things but never directed towards one another. He started putting me down at times when he was angry, which really isn't like him.

I know he was under a lot of stress, even when he came home. He was telling me that his hair was falling out or sometimes he woke up hearing the air sirens "going off". I wish I could understand it all but I will never know what he went through. He won't tell me what happened overseas.
I wish I had the confidence to help him, but I have been having my doubts in him. He's lied about some pretty major things, one of them being drinking & driving. I'm having a hard time trusting him and believing if his intentions are true, or if he's just single and lonely.
It seems best that I let him go.

If you think that it's best to let him go, then it probably is.  It is a lot to deal with, and if you can't, you don't have to.  There is someone out there with the healthy emotional and mental well being that you need.  Don't worry about himm either, there probably IS someone out there who knows better how to be partners with a man who has PTSD (otherwise we wouldnt have military wives), and with time it may subside or lessen.