Hey i have just been feeling in a funk lately. I am 25 and work full time and go to school part time. I have been single for a long time almost 3 yrs since i had a real relationship. I have been on a lot of dates and some of them i hung out with for a little but it never seems to work out. I feel like I always mess something up. Either i sleep with them to soon because i figure thats what they want or then i try to wait. Or they just end up not calling me for no reason, which i still like must have been something i did. I know i'm still young, but i just feel like being single this long i am never going to meet anyone. Another problem i have is i dont have any good ways to meet guys. I dont have a big group of friends that i would end up meeting someone through someone else. I work at a small office and school no one talks to anyone. I know i sound negative about myself because i am sad right now. I do have confidence in myself. I think i'm pretty and smart. I just see a lot of people my age meeting someone are not having such a problem meeting someone. Then i found out that a guy i went out for a little and then told me he didnt want a relationship, had one not too soon after that. Its like what is wrong with me that he didnt want a relationship with me. I dont focus on it all the time. Just when i feel lonely i guess. I'm usually busy and have a few close friends that make my life fun. It just would be nice to meet someone, and wondering why its so hard.
If you really want to meet someone & you have no possibilities at work or school then you really have to make an effort to get out there. Either join some singles activities clubs, do some meetup groups or do on line dating. My cousin met her DH thru OLD and she is about your age. And don't think it really has anything to do w/ you that you haven't met anyone yet--people are all different & just because a guy didn't like you & then liked someone else doesn't mean there is anything wrong w/ you, it just means that you didn't fit the bill for whatever he was looking for. Think of it like auditioning for a play--if they are looking for someone old, young, tall, fat, etc., it doesn't mean that the actors who do the auditions that don't fit that role aren't necessarily good actors, they just weren't right for that part. Also, sleeping w/ a guy to "keep" him is never a good idea, in fact it usually backfires. Those are the girls that guys discard, the ones they just use for sex. If you want to have sex w/ a guy because you want it, that's fine, but don't do it cause you think the guy will expect it.
hey now, there's no reason for you to beat yourself up over this stuff. Believe me, i've been there. Heck, i'm still there sometimes. I'm 22, i've had a few relationships, one serious one that lasted 4 months (if you can call that serious) and he broke my heart BIG TIME. He told me that he could NEVER love me. I was a mess for about two years. Another guy i dated told me i was exactly what he was looking for... then he just never answered my calls, cut me of completely. I felt just like you. i didn't know what was wrong with me, i thought it was all my fault and that i was just unlovable and sometimes i still feel like that. But for the most part, i've decided that why waste MY life and MY time thinking about men? Why cry over some guy who was so terrible enough to just never call me, make plans with me, treat me like complete crap? There are great guys out there but don't focus your whole life around it. At the end of the day, the most important person in your life is you. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger right? Take everythign you've been through and just channel it into making yourself stronger. You survived one terrible thing, and you're a stronger person. Don't let him get you down because that way he wins. You're a caring person and ANYONE would be lucky to know you. I know how you feel, i really really do. I've made terrible choices in men before too and there have been times i've made my self so depressed and upset i just wouldn't leave the house. But one day i just said "Screw this!" and got up, got busy, and MADE myself happy. A man should never be the reason that you're happy. Only you can make yourself happy. i was just like you. i didn't have a million friends, i still go to school full time where all i do is study, i used to go home EVERY weekend because i absolutely hated the city i lived in. But when you're unhappy and sad it's your duty to make the choice to be happy. So i made a big decision and moved to a new city, made new friends, and just had fun and experienced new people and things. Life is not easy and it can kick your butt pretty darn hard but don't let it get the best of you. you're only 25, you've got YEARS to go so don't waste your young years worrying about men. Having a good guy in your life is great but you can't truly love someone until you truly love yourself right? Learn to love yourself and love with find you when you're not looking. My mom always said that having a man in your life is just the decoration on the Christmas tree: Sure it looks nice but does the tree need it to survive? NO! Will the tree die and wither away because it isn't decorated? NO! Men are just decorations. They aren't a necessity. So treat yourself nice, make your self do the things you're most afraid of because in the end you're going to be a better person for it. You're a great woman with a big heart and someday someone will be lucky enough to have you, not you will be lucky enough to have him. You are what is most important in this world, not some guy. Take care of yourself.
I have to disagree and say that she is too young to have to resort to singles activities and online dating. She doesnt need to do that, because there are so many single people her age out there, theres no need to single out activities just for single people.
I do agree that you need to get out there though. Do something that YOU want to do. Take a class, start a sport, volunteer, do something that interests you. And be confident and love yourself. The guys WILL come and you WILL find somebody. You are YOUNG, enjoy what you have now because once that man comes along, there are some things you wont be able to do anymore!
Take advantage of all life has to offer. Good luck!
Love 
