I wanted to bring this up and let others know what I thought.
This board is depressing me way more than it should.
All I see are women complaining that they are lonely, or that this guy looked at them weird, that there are no guys in their area, or they wish they had a man. And all the subsequent replies are the same. Other stating how lonely they are and that its SOO hard to find a man.
I read these and want to reply with the same but I stop. Its depressing. I thought this board was about single life. Not, my life is nothing because I am single.
Look, we all all born into this world single and in the end...nobody is going with us. Its just us.
To quote Beyoncé, me myself and I, thats all I go in the end, thats what I found out and theres no need to cry, I took a vow that from now on I'm gonna be my own best friend.
Everyone is so lonely and so depressed they dont have a man. I refuse to be down as I enjoy my own company very much. Sometime in the future I hope to get married and have a family, but thats not in the cards right now.
And another thing. Everybody chooses to be single on their own accord. The universe doesnt mess with us like that. If there is something keeping you single, than fix it.
I know exactly why and how I'm single, but its going to take work. I dont sit and complain about outside forces keeping me single...like no single men in my area, all the men are intimidated by me...really? All the men are intimidated by your awesomeness?
Please stop being so down.
I think this board should be about the joys of singlehood and not everyone indulging others pity parties.
"Everyone is so lonely and so depressed they dont have a man. I refuse to be down as I enjoy my own company very much. Sometime in the future I hope to get married and have a family, but thats not in the cards right now. And another thing. Everybody chooses to be single on their own accord. The universe doesnt mess with us like that. If there is something keeping you single, than fix it."
It's great that you are enjoying your single life so much, really. I also suspect you are very young, and just haven't had as much life experience as some of the women on this board (maybe I'm wrong about this). When I was in my early 20s, I didn't care about getting married either. You say, though, that in the future you hope to get married and have a family, but how will you feel if, after you are ready, three years go by, four, five, six...and all of your friends are now married with children? You might become kind of lonely if no one can go out with you any more. Like you, I also enjoy my own company, but enough is enough after a while, ya know?
You also say that people choose to be single and that you can "fix" yourself in order to not be single anymore. There are people who do have issues that I think are keeping them from a fulfilling relationship, but there are plenty of people who are perfectly "normal" that haven't been able to connect. And, just because a woman is ready for a relationship doesn't mean a man will fall from the sky.
I agree that we don't have to live lives of abject misery while single, but I also feel it's healthy to vent about our frustrations, or to reach out for support in times of need. Just because a woman posts here that she's lonely doesn't mean she's a walking train wreck leading a completely joyless life. Just sayin'.
I completely agree. I do get tired of negativity, but I think that once in awhile we all have to have one big whine-fest and once we get it out, all is better. I also think that this time of year is tough. I don't know about everywhere else, but here we've had several days with no sun at all and that effects my mood in a HUGE way. I've also had friendship issues, and THAT's what's making me feel so down about being single right now. It doesn't really have to do with not having a guy. It's all about friends who are treating me as if I'm disposable. When I have just one friend who wants to spend time with me, I really don't care so much about dating.
That and this week I've been dealing with a crazy situation at work...that does NOT help at all.
Yes, your point is well taken. There can be a lot of negativity on this board (me obviously being a culprit!! lol) and we should recognize the positives of our situations.
I guess I just find it helpful to vent here because in real life, there's no one who truly understands "the single life" as we live it. I like to come here and hear from people who can say - yes, I've been there done that or I was in your shoes five years ago, etc. This is not just regarding the aspect of having or not having a man (or horrendous dates!!) but in general all the things that come along with being an independent woman (financially and otherwise).
If it comes across as whining, my apologies. I just like hearing back from people who actually may understand a bit more what I'm going through, rather than other, well meaning people who make suggestions but have never really lived "the single life".
Here is my take. Usually people come to these forums when they have issues or problems. You usually don't post when life is wonderful--why would you? Unless the board was changed to "single and loving it"? In fact, since I posted last, my life has improved greatly. I posted "single and forty" because I had just been through a break-up and hoped to find some compassion (not a pity party, I just wanted to be able to pick myself up again).
I don't believe I am single for a reason that I can fix. There have been circumstances in my life that have led to this and yes, it is possible to live in a town that is so small there are hardly any single men (I am living this reality). Most of the time I enjoy being single--there are perks to this that I love. But I think the natural state of most people is to want a companion. I don't think there is anything wrong with seeking comfort in a message board. The replies to me gave me the strength to get up off the couch and feel better, for example. I can't go sob to my friends all the time and even if it is anonymous, it helped me.
Maybe you can pick and choose the posts you want to read, but really it does help to have someone who loves the single life to answer us sometimes. It reminds us that there are great things about being single. Or you can suggest a new board for Ivillage for non-complainers (lol).
I guess the last thing I would say is try to cultivate some compassion. I don't wish a divorce on you, but some of us have been there and yes, it is really hard to pick back up again. It is natural to want a safe harbor. I feel that if you don't deal with the pain, whether it is by running a marathon, posting on a board, or buying shoes, the pain you swallow will come back to haunt you in new relationships.
Love 
