you are here: iVillage Love Love message boards Surviving Divorce & Separation  / I Will Survive  / 
advanced search  |  outline view  |  invite a friend  |  folder view  |  about the boards

Surviving Divorce & Separation

114474 messages posted to this board • 6 messages posted today
find messages about   
log in
welcome!
 
next discussion >
last visit to this board
Nov-11


add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

Tired of crying

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  23250.1
replies:
  3
from:
  jenny19992002  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-1 8:05 pm

I am new here and after reading MANY messages, I felt comfortable in posting my own.  I am so confused and tired of crying!! I have been married to my husband for 12 years and together for 17.  A year ago he seemed "down and out" and I thought it was just a phase.  I kept asking him what was wrong and finally a year ago yesterday he said he no longer loved me!  I was shocked and VERY upset by this announcement!  He agreed to "work on things" so he stayed in the home and I worked on things, but he didn't seem too eager to do the same.  In July (9 months later) we sat down and talked and he admited that nothing has changed, he is not happy but only stays because of our son (now 10 years old).  I told him that was not a good enough reason to stay and asked him to leave.  August 1 he moved into an apartment  a few miles away.  It has been 3 months and we just had our first counseling appointment together this week-it was AWEFUl!  He basically said that he hasn't felt an emotional attachment to me in a LONG time.  He cried/I cried...I feel sick about it!  He is a great dad to our son and has him 2 nights/week.  I miss him SO much it hurts!  I am so tired of crying!  He is a nice guy and even through the pain he has put me through I still love him!  Help!  I can't seem to accept the fact that it is over.  I would love to connect with someone through this site that I can chat with and maybe get some perspective before I go bonkers!! 
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
last visit to this board
Nov-17


add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

Tired of crying

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  23250.2 in response to 23250.1
replies:
  3
from:
  smarko96
to:
  jenny19992002  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-1 8:37 pm

Jenny, I am sorry to about your situation and this time I can honestly say I know how you feel. My stbx also just told me 3months ago that he didn't love me anymore and has been feeling like that for several months. I was 8 1/2 months pregnant when telling me this...I was also high risk. I know I cried a lot also and felt like everything and I mean everything made me cry. I also could not believe that this was happening to me also. I also discovered that my stbx decided to seek comfort from another women he is not currently seeing bc she was able to give him the attention and affection I was not able to i guess. So, now I am living with my parents with my newborn daughter and my 5 yr old son. I still cannot believe that this is happening to me and still am very devastated my best friend of 14yrs and husband of 8 yrs could just leave me while I was pregnant and find another woman. I don't know how long you have learned of your husbands discontent, but I have noticed that my good days are starting to out weigh the bad days. I think I have been having more sad/bad moments then all out sad/bad days. Have you thought about counseling for just yourself so that you can talk through just your feelings?

Feel free to e-mail me at smarko96@yahoo.com if you would like to chat...It is nice to chat with somebody who is also going through the same thing you are going through
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
last visit to this board
10:25 am


messages posted
this board
1825

add to friends
ignore posts
discussion title:
 

Tired of crying

emoticon:
 emoticon
message #:
  23250.3 in response to 23250.1
replies:
  3
from:
  musiclover12
to:
  jenny19992002  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-2 11:40 am

I can definitely sympathize w/ you on this one.  My 1st DH & I were married 13 yrs, then he decided he wanted a divorce cause he wasn't happy.  It didn't really make sense to me--it wasn't that we were fighting, there were no major problems, there was no other woman.  He just decided to move out when our kids were 7 & 1--just what I wanted, to have to work and take care of 2 kids.  The thing is that at the time he moved out, I just assumed that he wasn't coming back & had to get on w/ my life.  Not that it was easy.  I was pretty much devastated for a year.  Then the fact that he got a GF, eventually moved in w/ her & then got married didn't make it easier either.  But by the time he got remarried, I was w/ the guy who became my 2nd DH (another disaster, but that's another story).  But by this time, it's been 13 yrs and I'm so totally over him that even if his DW died or they got divorced and he said he wanted to come back, I would say no.  I just don't have any feelings for him--not that I dislike him either.  We get along fine.  I taught DS to play a song on the piano so he asked his dad to come in & listen to it yesterday.  So we can be in the same room, get alone fine, there are just no feelings either way.  What he does really doesn't concern me except as it relates to the kids.  I'm not jealous of him or his DW.  I guess what I'm trying to say it that as hard as it is right now to hear that your DH doesn't want to be w/ you, you will eventually get over him, if you have to.
send to a friend >   print >   bookmark >   report a violation >
MESSAGES IN THIS DISCUSSION  
< Jump to Previous Discussion    Jump to Next Discussion >
Change the number of messages
displayed on this page in
Indicate your interest in the discussion
   
Get updates to this discussion
delivered by email