My marriage has been rocky from the start but we have kept working on it because we felt we each loved the other. We have discussed divorce three times with the last being about a month ago. He suggested we wait until the Spring to decide and see what happens. Things continued as we normally do in all aspects. He does work out of state and only comes home about once a month.
I decided to surprise him this weekend and found him with another woman and the kids (ages 18 and 21) found out. The youngest won't talk to his dad anymore. The oldest asked me if I've had/am having an affair. I lied and told him no. I did have one earlier in the year but broke it off before we ever had the discussion a month ago. I knew myself that our marriage has come to an end but know that doesn't excuse me having an affair myself.
I feel horrible that my husband is taking all the blame and that there is friction between he and our son. I also feel awful for lying to my oldest but wasn't sure what to say. Should I confess to my husband and then us sit down and talk to the kids or should I just keep quiet for now? I don't like being deceptive. I can't take back what I've done but want to correct things the best I can. My youngest feels so betrayed by his dad and I'm afraid if I confess that he will feel like he doesn't have anyone to come to.
Love 
