Surviving Divorce & Separation

2 questions for discussion:

1. Trying to figure out where we are going to live?  We are going to try to keep the kids in the house and we are going to move in & out, at least for a while.  So we need another place - traditionally with this option people each have their own place but we can't afford that so we will have to share another place.  Should we buy/rent?  House?  Apartment?  I like being able to go outside.  But I'm not sure how long this particular arrangement will last so I don't necessarily want to get into anything totally permanent.  On the other hand, it's a buyer's market right now so we should be able to get something relatively cheaply - we live in an area where housing prices are pretty low.

2.  When should I take off my wedding ring?  We haven't told the kids yet, nor have we told many people at all, but I kind of wish I could take it off now ... any thoughts?

thanks

d4s

1)  I would rent.   Yes it's a buyers market right now but by buying another property you are adding another element to your D proceedings because you will now have another asset that you will have to divide. 

2)  I can't tell you when the exact right moment to tell your children about the D but don't wait too long.  My children figured it out and we lost the ability to tell them in a calm controlled way.    As for the rings, take em off if you want.  It's nobody's business anyway.  Sooner or later people are going to know.

1. I think if you can afford to buy a second home comfortably, do that. If not, then just rent a small place, maybe a 2 bedroom so you can both have your own (locking!) rooms. Sign a short contract, not longer than 6 months, so if this arrangement doesn't work out, then you aren't locked in very long.

2. You should take off your ring whenever it feels right to you. I took mine off in March, while he was out of town, but I didn't plan to keep it off. It felt good to have it off, and it's been off ever since. I took it off thoughtfully, just to try it out. He continued to wear his until August. That was when he found out I wasn't wearing my ring. Oh, yes, I saw him every single day, but he didn't know it was off for those 6 months. When he found out mine was off, he took his off in anger and threw it back at me. Now that he's given it back to me, he's mad that I have it and he wants it back. I refused to give it back, legally it's mine now. So, both rings are sitting in my jewelry box together. BTW, my kids never noticed I wasn't wearing my ring, until September, when we were walking into the grocery store and one of my boys wanted to hold my hand with the ring and  he switched sides only to discover that I didn't have one on!

Thanks everyone for input.  We found some beautiful condos that have a nice view, they are unique in this area.  I thought if we bought one then we could always rent it out if we changed plans at some point.  Or one of us might want to live there.  It is really close to h's office, he could walk.  They are bright and sunny, which would be a much nicer environment than some crummy apartment.  There aren't a lot of rentals in the area we live in, most people buy houses because the housing prices are reasonable.  Most of the apartments directly in our area are low income. 

d4s