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Surviving Divorce & Separation

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Nov-17


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discussion title:
 

how to hold it together in court?

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message #:
  23261.1
replies:
  5
from:
  smarko96
date:
  Nov-5 11:43 am

My stbx are in the processing of going to a mediator to file a dissolution. In my state once the papers are filed you will need to appear before the judge to see if they approve your agreement or not. well, my stbx wanted out of the marriage and didn't want to work on it anymore (he also started an affair a few weeks prior to this great revelation). Anyways, I just had a baby 2 months ago and am an emotional person. I didn't want the divorce, but really don't have a choice. I know I am going to break down when I get to court and have to talk in front of the judge. Any suggestions on how to hold it together? Please
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Nov-22


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discussion title:
 

how to hold it together in court?

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message #:
  23261.2 in response to 23261.1
replies:
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from:
  my_two_boys_98_00  Member Icon
to:
  smarko96
date:
  Nov-6 7:45 pm

My personal input.  if you don't want the divorce, DON"T do the dissolution.  make the bastard work for his divorce.  Hire a lawyer and get what you want.  A dissolution is when both parties agree too and want the divorce.   Don't make it easy for him.  He's not going to turn around and change his mind.  Make him work for his freedom.

 

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discussion title:
 

how to hold it together in court?

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message #:
  23261.3 in response to 23261.1
replies:
  5
from:
  magentabluegoddess
to:
  smarko96
date:
  Nov-6 9:15 pm

I think the other poster gave you horrible advice. Every penny you spend fighting this is money that should have been put into your  kids. Go to the  mediation, it's gonna cost a pretty penny all by itself. Then go to court.  Apologize to the judge right up front about your emotional status, explain that you do not want this divorce and that you just had a baby and your hormones are running your emotions all over the place and that you'll try to keep your composure, but you are sure you'll lose it at some point, so you are apologizing to the court in advance.
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rmdp  Member Icon
last visit to this board
Nov-22


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discussion title:
 

how to hold it together in court?

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message #:
  23261.4 in response to 23261.3
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  5
from:
  rmdp  Member Icon
to:
  magentabluegoddess
date:
  Nov-7 6:09 am

I also agree that dragging things out doesn't solve anything. It increases the animosity, costs excessive money and in the end, you arive at the same place.

Even if you're doing mediation, I would retain an attorney to review any agreements and ensure that you protect your interests. Yes, retaining an attorney costs more, but you need someone to be your advocate who is familiar with the law.

Good Luck,

D
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discussion title:
 

how to hold it together in court?

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message #:
  23261.5 in response to 23261.4
replies:
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from:
  heissick
to:
  rmdp  Member Icon
date:
  Nov-7 11:30 am

I totally agree here.Dragging things leads to nothing but parting away with money.
Try to stay calm and keep your composure,it is hard and will require a lot of hard work from you.Sorry for your situation.
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