Surviving Divorce & Separation

My husband told me he is unhappy and done today.  He told me this back in February but I thought we had fixed it.  I was crying for awhile but then became outraged.  I am not responsible for his happiness, marriage is hard darn work.  I told him to not come home but he did.  He told me he can't have sex with me (it's been an issue with us - he used to blame it on his back it hurt too much) because he is unhappy with our marriage and he can't have sex when he is unhappy.  I did not just fall off the turnip truck.  So my lovely husband of 15 years and 2 kids doesn't want to be married anymore.  I am pissed at him for lying to me for about 9 mos.  For most of the year I thought something was off but did not trust my gut, why didn't he just leave in February?  He just lied the whole time.  I don't know what to say to my kids.  We are both 40 and have been through so much with each other.  I am very confused of why?  Thanks for reading my vent.

I also want to add he doesn't tak to me unless he is infront of others, our kids others.  I am sure to make him look like a good husband but he does not speak to me at all has not since February.  I am going to my sisters tomorrow.

"I also want to add he doesn't tak to me unless he is infront of others, our kids others. I am sure to make him look like a good husband but he does not speak to me at all has not since February. "

I would say this is manipulation and kind of emotional abuse.Your husband is trying to be a good boy outside to the people while you know the real him.
As for letting the kids know,well, they already must be knowing it.They are clever and understand whats happening.You just need to be calm ( i understand it can be difficult) and they will get it sooner than you can believe.

If your husband is done,i would suggest not to beg and plead,keep your dignity and serve him with papers.

HI.

 I also had the samething happen to me about a year ago my husband told me one night out of the blue he was not in love with me anymore and that I had sucked the life out of him. I felt like somebody had just hit me up side the head with a brick. Shock, disbelief,anger and so  many more emotions that I can't even begin to say are what I felt at the time. We separted and the after a month starting seeing each other again I thought as he said we were taking baby steps to fixs us. Then after 6 months of that he just decides to stop calling won't answer e-mails or anything. Then one morning I get an e-mail saying he has filed for divorce talk about gall.

We are in the process now of the divorce being final soon. I wish I had words of comfort for  you but it is going to take time to heal it is a slow healing. Know that you are not to blame for his being unhappy no matter what he trys to say remember that it takes two to make a marriage work. So feel that you are the only one who failed make him own the feelings also. I will keep yhou in my prays and remember WE ARE GOOD WOMEN we just have had our life sucked out of us for only a moment. Time will heal you wounds but it will not be over night cry when you need to and even scream if it helps. Peace  

My heart goes out to you.  It was like reading my own story!  Same thing happened to me recently.  It really stinks!  I can't tell you how much I have cried these past months.  I, too had a gut feeling but just kept ignoring it..until recently.  We are seperated now while we "work on ourselves".  As someone else replied, WE ARE STRONG WOMEN....you will get through as I know I will...some days with tears and others with anger and yet others with more personal strength.  Each day we become a little stronger and wiser.

Stay strong and keep posting :)

How old are your kids?  We have a son-10 years old.