Single Mothers & Dating

Left the board for a while, but miss the nice folks here.

I got rid of my Toxic Man once and for all. He made me joyous/miserable from last November until the end of August. Too many breakups (by me) make-ups (by him) only to be followed by him heading for the hills every time he got close.

Dated others like a banshee over the summer, making me MISERABLE and feeling like I wanted to give up. Then I did, took a new approach and decided all dates were all about me, I was gonna let it rip and just see what happened.

Dates like crazy, lots of call backs, etc.

One stuck, and has seemed to have stuck since the end of August. We don't get to see each other all that much because he is raising his two kids. This is a first for me. He's making me take it slow. Also a first for me, considering I moved in with my ex two months after I met him, and every guy I have been with post divorce came on like a house on fire, only to flame out.

Slow feels weird. This past week he made very little contact and I freaked out. I didn't call him or text or anything, I laid low, but inside FREAKING out. When he did call, he was very chatty, like nothing happened. Again, this is all sort of new for me.

He's a really, really nice guy. He's a little older than I would have liked, but his kids are much younger than mine, so his time is more wrapped up with them than I am with mine because he has to be. On the surface he doesn't seem my type, but he is really funny and so kind. I am trying to be a really good girl and NOT freak out, be very cool, be very calm and so far it is working, but it's soooooo hard.

How do you deal with 'taking it slow' when you've never done it before? I don't know the difference between a few days of no contact and being dumped.

Hey! Welcome back!!!  (did you E me a few days ago? Your member name wasnt in it I dont think - & i think it was you?)

Anyway, sorry you had some dating issues, but it seems you bounced right back, dating around, & now its great you found someone who you find youre compatible with  :)   The taking it slow stuff? Im not so good at it either! Well, the slow is ok .... but I do sort of freak out (ahem, lol) when the calls dont come. But now, as Ive become more comfortable in my relationship, AND had lots of talkings-too! lol by our girls here, Ive come to accept that the calls & attention you get from them at the beginning, dies down after a while, when they are more secure in their relationship with us. In fact, just the other day I was busting HC about not calling me like he used to .... he said "I call you!" & I said "Yeah, but you used to call when we were 1st dating, like 2-3X a day sometimes" & he siad "Yeah, well ... I was trying to get laid". Ha! lol  Guess it worked  ;)

So, i think as time goes on, you will get more comfortable with just talking every few days or whatever.

Dont dissapear on us again! Keep us in the loop! :)

My girlfriend was just complaining today about her relationship of 5 months "going slow." I think it's so different for her, after her ex-H and others she's dated, that it just seems strange. But honestly, I think it's a good thing and this relationship is going to "stick" for her. So enjoy it. Look at the positives. Sit back and let it grow, and mature, and expand into something wonderful! :) Enjoy & GL!!

~Carol

I've gotten so used to EC calling 2 - 3x a day... I'll be sad when he stops calling that much. :(

But thanks to this board, i'll know it isn't cuz he's lost interest... and when i "freak out"... i'll be sure to do it here and not in front of him.

calm... breathe.... keep my cool... breathe.

one day at a time.

Loonybunny