Single Mothers & Dating

So Yesterday was my court date for my divorce.  I went fairly well prepared mentally. Then the lawyers went through a few things and found out there was a slight snag and it would not be finalized. I just flipped out. I cried like a baby. So embarrassing!

 Here is the kicker..I did not cry cause I was upset it was over...I cried because I was RELIEVED it is not over. Say what? yeah I was thinking the same thing..am I crazy. Ugh. So clearly I have a LOT to think about.

   Went to therapy today to discuss it all. She agreed that I need more time to make sure this is what I really want and she encouraged me to Talk to Jr. I have not really done that at all. I have been so hurt I just do not want to hear him out. I am not sure he can say anything to make me feel better or come to terms with things. I just feel more and more confused and I thought at this point things would be easier not harder!

Oh God Honey - so many ups & downs.

Im worried though. Im worried b/c you dont seem to want this ... yet ... it scares the hell out of me that if you speak with him & he wants it, you will give him another chance. I just dont beleive someone who could do that do you, has any chance of changing their ways.

BUT, its your decision. & I will support you in whatever you decide is best for you - & your family.

Stay strong. xo

Closure is important. When I got divorced there were so many things I didn't understand about why my ex was doing what he did. While I didn't catch him in the act, he mentally left the family and didn't look back, but wouldn't help me to understand where the shift in feelings came from.

I probably would have taken him back if he had given me an opening, but I am glad in the end he didn't. I was more afraid of starting all over again than I was afraid of losing HIM.

Many years ago he had an incident in which he wound up in a motel room with a couple of hookers and a lot of coke. He drained our bank account that night. I 'forgave' him because I was scared, our kids were little, and I had no job.

But I never forgot. And it definitely impacted the rest of our marriage because I never truly trusted him again, even though I kept telling myself I was over it. If I had to do it all over again I would have left right then and there because my self esteem took a BEATING for the next 9 years.

It's so hard. Hugs.

Well, I don't think that you need to look at this divorce as something you should or are supposed to do because of other people. I stand by what I said before, you should talk to him and do what is best for you.

I thought you were rushing a bit and being somewhat hasty in your decision. You may end up divorced but there is no reason you all can't do counseling together. Work and see if it can be fixed. You deserve to be happy and even though he has hurt you a great deal, I remember how incredibly happy he has made you as well. When you are dealing with people you have to know that they are going to mess up.

Please take some time to think about this. I really don't agree with everyone else. I think everyone deserves to be heard unless they have physically harmed someone.

Hugs to you. I'm sorry you are going through all this.

Priscilla