Single Mothers & Dating

Kurt started kindergarten this year and he's not having a good time adjusting to it. He's sassy, he hits other students out of frustration, he throws things (pencils, glue sticks) is basically just a general nuisance. We've tried sticker charts, rewards, him having to call me or my ex husband, and leaving school early on days he just can't seem to behave. On the days he gets sent home he has to spend the rest of the night in his room, he's only allowed to come upstairs to eat dinner at the table. We have pretty much the general rules here backed up by a time out system. We don't spank him at all.

Today there was a note sent home from his art teacher that indicates to me that she is at her wits end with him. Now I have to have a conference with her sometime next week to discuss his behavior. To top it all off tonight at the grocery store he tried to steal candy and then lie to me about it. When I made him go back into the store to return it, he had a tantrum/meltdown on the spot and I had to basically pry the candy from his hands. I don't know what I'm doing or not doing, but nothing seems to work with him. I'm to the point now where I'm so embarrassed and upset that I'm ready to make some very strict rules and enforce them with an iron fist so to speak. If anyone here has any suggestions or ideas that have worked for you, please please tell me what they are. I can't handle having such a bad child.

 

That's the thing that kills me about him - he was such a good baby. Hardly ever cried, was content to do his own thing, slept well and was a joy to be around. His behavior didn't really start to get bad until he was about 3 1/2 - 4. It's like one night my son went to sleep and some other little boy woke up in his place.

We've tried focusing more on the positive with rewards and stickers for good behavior, and we've explained to him that his behavior is his choice and that he's trading in fun things for bad behavior. It's like nothing motivates him either way.

 

Are we raising the same kid or what??? 

DS11 had such a terrible time in Kindergarten.  Let me look back at the notes I kept (I ended up in a battle with the board and his principal over some of it) and I'll facebook email you.  I won't be home until Sunday night so it might be Monday before I can get it all together.

Hang tough though...I so so so know what your going through.  It's an impluse control thing and I think they more they feel out of control the more the frustration comes out at those around them.  Just keep in mind that he may not have whatever it is in his brain to click in and say...this is NOT how I should cope with this...so severe punishments may only frustate him more and leaving him feeling like he cant do anything right so why try.  That was DS11's attitude..."I'm just a bad kid" (he actually said that to me once in Kingergarten).  We went to a counselor that helped him figure out some coping mechanisms that worked for him...I know I have them wrote down somewhere.

When my kids were bad I never really figured out what it was that caused it or what I could do about it. They just outgrew it. But I know this isnt the answer youre looking for. I think you are doing right be being firm and standing by your principals. Not wavering is important too. Constant on your expectations. I also think positive reinforcement is good.

Kindergarten is an adjustment for kids. They need time to get used to the expectations. There might be something going on in school that is setting him off. Such as bullying or teasing. Ask his teacher if kids are teasing him. This behavior could be a backlash of something like that.

When DD14 was being bullied she reacted by going into seclusion in her room for long periods of time. Now that she doesnt go to school anymore she doesnt do that.

Laurie