Single Mothers & Dating

I am writing this because I am not sure what is going on with "Mike Brady". At first, as I said, he was really attentive, called a lot, texted almost daily (if he didn't call). Made dates in advance, respected my time and my relationship with my kids.

Two weeks ago we had an amazing date, went on for hours, even he said he was blown away by what a nice time he had. He asked that night for us to get together the next day, but then wound up blowing me off, texting me late that night that he was sorry about the walk. That left me a little confused, and a little annoyed because I kind of waited around for him to call to set up our time together.

Then communication kind of stopped. No texts for a few days, it took him about two more days to call after that. He had his kids that weekend and I got a flurry of texts on Halloween telling me about his night, a phone call the next day. On Monday he asked if I wanted to do something on the weekend, of course I said yes, then all I got were a couple of texts through the week.

Thursday he texted he would call that night to make our plan. He didn't. I got a text Friday saying that the kids were up late so he couldn't call. Nothing else yesterday when I asked what time he wanted to get together.

This morning I get a text that he has stomach flu.

One the one hand, I want to feel bad for him and see if he needs help. On the other hand, going from all the attention to communication by text is leaving me feeling like I am being shown the door (this happened to me before so that is why I am getting this feeling).

Part of me is starting to feel like I'm being played. I really want to believe this guy, but we haven't seen each other in two weeks, and the way his ex's visitation schedule goes I wouldn't have a chance to see him for another two weeks.

I don't really see how you can build much of a relationship when you can only get together once or twice a month and one of the parties is pulling back on communication.

Sorry this is so long. I am just feeling really frustrated because something in my gut is telling me something isn't right. And I don't know if I should trust my gut, or trust this guy.

I say trust your gut. You have no reason TO trust him ... or NOT to. So all you have to go on is what you have seen. Remember, what you see NOW, at the beginning, is usually the best youre going to see. This is hte time of infatuation, & when they want to impress you.

NOW - maybe things did come up. But its bull that he didnt call you that nite - "his kids were up late". What? So you cant make a call while your kids are awake? If thats the case, his parenting skills suck - & his kids are monsters.

Does he have the flu? Maybe. But NO WAY should you be offering "help" in any way. You barely know the guy. A nice response of "Sorry youre not feeling well. If you still want to get together when your feeling better, Id love to see you - just let me know. Take care".

The ball MUST be in his court.

OK I am going to be blunt I hope no one takes it as rude though it might come across as such.....

You are having a bad feeling inyour gut because you arent getting all the attention you use to get. Well that happens when you have your kids 24/7...life is up and down. he has the flu...And I am going to say it...you being a bit selfish.

I know the other side...I have my kids 24/7 and when the guys I date start not getting what they want welll they get pissy. And thats when I back off and eventually sa BUH BYE!!!

I think when we get comfortable with someone, we don't feel as much need to check in as much... we feel that they will still BE THERE for us when we do, so we don't pursue as much. 

If this guy finds it hard to manage his time/ multitask and isn't comfortable talking on the phone when the kids are up, then it is likely that the daily contact was not the norm for him to do... and so now that he feels he "has" you, he will revert to normal ways for him.

I know for myself I dislike talking to a guy on the phone, even after 2 months of dating, when ds is around cause he suddenly finds the need to come and disrupt my conversation.

Are you seeing this man exclusively?