Healing the Wounds of Childhood

Heatmos, if you can't forgive...don't.  :-)

Truly, forgiveness isn't the endall...it's really a natural unfolding of a compassion that begins with you for you.  So start with that and don't worry about the rest.  If you're willing with a sense of adventure to go on a journey and see where it takes you with no expectations or demands, then forgiveness will take care of itself.

Be with yourself, sit with yourself, your feelings, your emotions with no desire to do anything with them but to sit and be with them.  Let your emotions speak to you, let yourself hear what you have to say, and do so with no judgment.  This is compassion.  This is deep listening.  This is the beginning of healing.

Don't try not to hate...you can't do it.  If you feel hate, then feel it...unconditionally and with acceptance as, "oh, hello, this part of me"...and see what happens.  Feeling your hate with compassion is not the same as feeding it.  Fighting hate feeds it, because hate is all about struggle.  But meeting your own hate with compassion toward yourself as a person is greeting fire with water...fluid, fllowing water guided only by your intention.

Blessings,

Tracy,

I've heard that too...that forgiveness is something you should do...like brushing your teeth or eating your greens.  Oh, if it were that easy!  But it's not...because I think most of us don't really understand what forgiveness is.

For one I love the writings of Thich Nhat Hanh, a Zen Buddhist monk...I've learned more about constructively releasing anger that has plagued me all my life (and gotten periodic reinforcing with every dysfunctional relationship I've been in)  through this man's work than any other techniques I have learned regarding handling anger. See my post to Heatmos on this thread.

Another excellent source on forgiveness called "The Forgiving Self" by Robert Karen is truly a remarkable book.  It really encourages an authentic ownership of our feelings first and as a prerequisite to true forgiveness...if appropriate or right for us.

And it is hard to forgive someone who shows no remorse, but alas it is often the case...but gladly not impossible. 

Blessings,

you know dreamer....i feel like I have been to forgiving in my life! i am tired of being forgiving ....i am tired of always turning the other cheek. my mother always says..." i do not understand why you need prozac".....GEE I WONDER!!!!! i want to tell her it is because of the F****up life that she gave me! but i do not and turn the other cheek.

i am going to try out those books you stated. and i understand what you are saying but i cannot help but feel the way i do! this is a hard one!!!!