<<< I think people often think I am stupid because I am so completely honest. >>> Wow - that happens to me, too. Why is that? Are dishonest people somehow seen as "smarter?" Geez...
To me, it takes more character and intelligence to be honest - even when the situation clearly compels you to shade the truth or lie outright - and be able to work through whatever that situation may be. You emerge with your pride intact, even if the honesty cost you in other ways.
But darnit, sometimes it's sticky! Perfect example: yesterday, I was finishing a remodel project (cleaning up) when the buyer's inspector arrived to inspect prior to today's closing sale. Also present were the seller and the buyer's realtor. Now understand, I was employed by the seller, so must support his interest. I chose to keep my trap shut tight and go about my business as invisibly as possible. A question arose about a window glass yet to be replaced (my job; seller AND realtor are both aware it's on order and cannot be installed until next week). Sorry so long, but I have to set the stage. So...
A LOT of money is at stake here, affecting many people's pockets other than my own.
Seller says nothing about the window, and inspector (so far) hasn't noticed. Buyer's realtor ASKS whether the window problem will delay the sale. Inspector asks seller "what window?" He replies it will be replaced on Thursday (BIG lie, and he knows it) while looking directly at me for confirmation. Realtor looks at me. Inspector looks at me.
I said, "Yes, Thursday." (Forcing the words out, and hoping they can't see through my obvious hesitation in how to answer).
The seller justified his lie (and mine) by telling the realtor (after the inspector left), that Thursday is, in fact, correct - and it is: *NEXT* Thursday.
The sale went through today, thank Heaven. And maybe I'm learning a little about HOW to be dishonest when the situation warrants, even though I don't like it. Not one little bit.
And yes, I KNOW this seller views me as less intelligent - because he and I have butted heads before over issues like this. I prefer to be open and straight-forward, and he's spent months trying to "educate" me about how/when to say certain things, or when to say nothing at all. The Art of Lying, I call it.
Meanwhile, he converses with my husband over business matters, properties, costs, bids, material choices, yada yada yada - while I am consulted for very little on these matters. Yet, I am the one who handles all the bookkeeping, prepares bids and invoices, handles all purchasing of materials, scheduling, and so on.
Go figure.
So anyways, Cindymom, I just wanted to welcome you to the board - I'm so glad you chose to introduce yourself. Unfortunately, if you haven't seen the posted news yet, this board is about to be taken down on June 24th and will no longer be available for posts. (Very sad Msfit here - having to say goodbye to new friends already.) There are many other boards on iVillage's Relationships or Health Channels where you might find similar support and communities of folks who are dealing with childhood wounds like those we have survived.
CL-Dreamsinger and I will both continue to be available through our e-mail addresses, however, and would very much love to stay in contact with you and all other members. We encourage you to e-mail either of us in the future:
Msfit777@kc.rr.com or Demian@keepingthedream.com
Love 
