Healing the Wounds of Childhood

Hello Loonypetunia - and welcome to the board! Sorry I haven't responded sooner; I've just stolen a few hours from other responsibilities to relax on the boards and finally talk to you.

Like Demian and Camille said, I think you're doing all you can right now and you have your priorities straight. Good for you, and for your little one! Be strong and know that you're doing what's best.

I gather that you're Christian, or some form of it; so I'd like to offer a little of my own thoughts on that angle: You mentioned about forgiveness being a requirement to get into heaven, and that seems to bother you a lot, else you wouldn't have mentioned it in your post. Have you talked to a spiritual leader about this? I think sometimes the best counseling in the world is FREE - right there on the corner at the nearest church/temple/synagogue/whatever - no matter what your faith may be.

I can't quote scripture very well, but I do believe the answers are all there - if we open our hearts and listen for them. Pray a little, read a little, talk to your minister, and listen to your heart.

And about forgiveness, personally I think that forgiving doesn't necessarily mean forgetting. You might reach a stage where you can honestly forgive the pain your father caused you, while also keeping your child away from him for her own safety.

I wish the best for you and your family. And please come back here anytime you like!

If not, why on earth would you want to forgive him???? Forgiveness is for people who ask and repent. He won't even admit it.

This new weird trend of saying that you can't get on with life or heal until you forgive is pure BS.

There is no reason to keep an abuser in your life. Continue avoiding him. Cut him out. If you have children, he would only endanger them. The family that calls you a liar? who needs a bunch of people in such denile that they let children suffer?

How you heal is realizing that none of this was your fault. He was the adult and botched the responsiblity for protecting you. He botched it. Why should you continue to pay for it?

Never heard of forgiving abusers to get into heaven. Here is what you can do. Pray for him to ask God and you for forgiveness and to get real help to stop being a pervert. Also, if he is still at it, call child protection services. He shouldn't be allowed around children.