Hey, Just_me, it's great to hear from you!
Hugs and congratulations for making the break and making it stick. I understand coming to the place you came to; where things just didn't feel right anymore. It sounds like it all just couldn't be stuffed under anymore and when it came up, it was time to go.
I'm sorry you're hurting, but you have to know that's part of the process; you can't be with someone for years and not have them leave a big hole when they're no longer a part of your life; even when the relationship wasn't a good thing.
I'm really proud of you for staying strong when he suggested getting together. It sounds like what he said to you after only solidified your decision to stay away. Instead of his statements having you feel shame for having stayed so long, try to see it like this: 1) You can't change what's done, so being upset won't resolve anything. 2) You could have stayed a lot longer; be grateful you didn't waste more time, and; 3) Try to see it as a learning experience. Nothing's failed or in vain if we learn from it. Learning from it means you won't let it happen again. It means you've gained new criteria for what you'll accept in a relationship, some things you won't tolerate and some things that absolutely have to be there in order to be acceptable to you. Bad experiences help you move forward to better ones if you use them as learning tools. Want some perspective? I stayed in my bad marriage for 17 years. Now there's some regret. Sooo many years wasted, so much life spent frustrated, unhappy, hurt and confused that should have been spent really living a life, you know? That's a big chunk of my life gone. You'll be happy to know the regret part fades with time. I still regret having spend those years that way, but I no longer feel sick or kick myself for it.
Tell me what you're doing to combat the loneliness? How are you staying busy? I know he called you once, are you still in contact with him or was that a one-time thing?
I have to tell you, I was surprised to read your reply to Micia09; you'd never indicated there was any abuse before.
"Ignoring the facts does not change the facts" ~ Author unknown
Love 
