Toxic Relationships

i posted a few weeks before september on the pornography damaging relationships board about finding out he had looked at porn behind my back...well not really behind but well i was sleeping in the bed right next to our couch and my computer. i knew something was wrong in the morning and found out he had been on a porn site. he FINALLY admitted to it in the next couple days, felt bad, said last time etc. when we moved he hooked up his computer, and i found out before he last moved in he was looking at porn all the time all i said to him was that i know he was looking most days etc.
this morning, i felt the same weird feeling. he got up way earlier than normal this morning, was about to put on his pants then decided to go on the internet. i'm not sure if he looked at anything though i got up a couple minutes later to get water and he was hiding his crotch, he says he was looking at hockey stats but had his downloading folder up.
i searched his history (well internet cookies, he knows to delete bad things from his history) and found a bunch of porn sites but they only say when they expire and not when he looked but none of these sites i recognize from when i looked the month before. i looked up what he had checked on on his My Computer. Last night was "naked natalie portman" etc. and the days before when i was at work or visiting family i saw more and more of these and porn videos that didn't link anywhere, so clearly he looked, downloaded and deleted them.
i don't know what to say to him. i texted him after i saw these, he is on his way to work and he said this morning he was just looking at hockey. and i said even if that's true, i don't think he has been honest with me since the last time i caught him. all he said was "you really want to get back into this again?
it says right there in front of me : when i was away he looked at one girls site 3 times, the next morning while i worked he looked at it again. some "office f*ck" thing while i was away. etc. etc.
what do i say? what do i do? clearly i'm not crazy right? i can see these things right here in front of me. i feel like he will just deny and deny because he has no idea that when he looks up things on "My Computer" it saves.hey...found another one

what do i do now???

i've never liked the idea of porn. we first started dating 3 years ago when he said he hated the idea of porn too, i was so happy, till months later i found porn all over his computer, thats when i would hear, "no i didnt" till i would tell him i found it, he would admit it say it wouldnt happen again, and then i would find it again. this happened many times. last winter we broke up, and we just got back together again in may...

i assumed when he wanted to get back together he knew that porn would be the last thing i would want. i was single and happy and didnt need that in my life again

i caught him a month or so ago, and it was the same, no i didnt till i showed him, he admitted it and said it wouldnt happen again. i dont know what kind of excuse he would tell me this time, i dont even know if there is a point in showing him

its more the lying i cant take, he sticks to his story for so long always and makes me feel like i'm the crazy one then says sorry but i still feel like the blame ends up on me...we aren't married but we do live together, and did in the past too. after the last time i caught him i am always nervous he will do it again, because i hate liars and i put so much trust into him when i agreed to get back together...

Did you break up because of the porn use? That's my biggest question...

I know you hate the lying and I agree with you. Lying is wrong and it does nothing good. But from his perspective, and it is important to see things from his perspective, he's going to look at porn no matter what and if he tries to keep it a secret from you he has the best possible chance of getting away without making a fight. One thing I know for certain is that you do NOT want to continue living your life looking for evidence, so it may be important to come to terms with it one way or another - Either by deciding that it's a deal-breaker worth breaking up (for good) over, or that you're going to give up the fight against porn use and stop looking over his shoulder. I think you only have control over how YOU are willing to see and deal with this, but in the meantime he has chosen to look at porn and there will be evidence of it whether or not you look.

it was over many things, yes a big part was that i could not deal with his lying, over other things not just porn, over every day things. he has agreed that in a relationship he doesn't need to look at it, says he doesn't mind etc. so thats what i dont get. ive told him many times that if he wants to, he can just admit to it, i would be much happier and would have probably been more easy going in the past. but EVERYTIME he says that he shouldnt be doing it, so when we were getting back together i told him all that stuff is in the past and i dont want that to be brought up again, no looking at it, nothing. i didn't even check to see because i did trust him, till that one morning months after getting together i had that strange feeling, and i found it again

so you do think no matter what he will look at it? i guess that makes sense given our history. he knew i wouldnt of started dating him again, looked for a place to live together, none of it if i knew he would just go behind my back again...so he must have known i would find out eventually