I have always done what he want (loosing myself in the process)come November 7 we would have been married 23 year. But our divorce was just finalized the 23 of October. We only divorced because he wanted a transfer.(dumb me said" anything you need Babe") I am screwed, I let him walk away with little child support all the paid off toys, taking on a house note that is 30 thousand under market. and I only make a third what he does. Why I call this a toxic relationship is because; I have already forgiven an affair,and now If he finds out he made a mistake I might take him back again. Why can't I just finally just walk away. Why am I that stupid to forgive him for cheating and now leaving for a place and not some one. I am never first, nor are his children. Dee
Ckmommy you aren't new, you've been here before - about nine months ago (HELP).
I don't know when divorce talk began, but it sounds like you were completely unprepared for it emotionally. In your previous post you indicated a pretty wide gap between yourself and your husband, but even still, if you didn't realize a divorce was in the future or want that yourself, it's pretty hard to come to when you're hit with it. I would say the reason you feel you'd be so quick to take him back is because this was all so sudden and surprising to you; and perhaps you agreed to a divorce and went through it without facing what you really wanted and what you really felt. If that's the case, it wouldn't be surprising that now that it's done, it's hit you. I would urge you to see a therapist to help you get through this difficult time, put things in perspective, work through the dysfunction you've learned through your marriage so that you can come away with a healthy perspective, able to move forward in a strong, healthy manner.
Here’s a partial list to help get you started:
Love 
