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Understanding Men

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How do men think?

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  12370.1
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  Oct-31 8:50 pm

I'm new to this board and would appreciate some insight on a topic that seems foreign to me: understanding how men think.  I'm a 40 year old happy professional woman who enjoys meeting new people.  I met this guy who was funny and personable one evening.  We had coffee and chatted.  We met again for the same and lastly we ended up in bed.  It was good and we saw each other for a few more occasions, always good; we flirted by texting each other and such and got together.  Suddenly after a month or so -puff!- he disappeared.  He answered my text messages in his usual flirty way, but he never came back when I asked.  In my mind I've thought about him being married, not interested anymore, meeting more women, being bi or gay (he had sex with a coiuple).  I may never get a clear answer but some insight from men would be helpful.  My question is "What happened?" 
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How do men think?

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  12370.2 in response to 12370.1
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  Nov-1 1:41 am

What happened? You weren't the woman for him. Hon, many many dating relationships end at this early period if they don't have the legs to keep going.

Yes, it would have been nice for him to tell you he was moving on, but perhaps he was wanting to avoid a potential 'scene'.

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How do men think?

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  12370.3 in response to 12370.1
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  Nov-1 9:31 am

"Gay" is a whole lot less likely than "just not that interested". Yeah perhaps he is married but you were reasonable sure he wasn't before you slept with him, right?

Don't text him anymore, this one is gone. He either lost interest in you specifically or found someone who fit better.

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How do men think?

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  12370.4 in response to 12370.3
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  Nov-1 7:32 pm

Thanks for the insight everyone.   I believe that people do what they do because they can do it.  It was understood from the beginning that the deal was just good sex without strings attached; in my mind there wasn't even a remote positibility of a relationship, as I wasn't looking for one, and he stated that had just divorced his wife.   I just wondered what hapened.  Now I have a more clear idea. 

Edited 11/1/2009 7:35 pm ET by ccruise2002
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How do men think?

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  12370.5 in response to 12370.1
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  Nov-2 7:50 am

It sounds like you guys had sex on the second "date"?  Listen, don't pay attention to TV.  The concept of quick and easy sex is not liberating or powerful.  All you have to do is browse these message boards to see....if you give it up too quick.....it usually doesn't work out.  Of course there will always be the exception to the rule.  Someone will answer this thread with their story how they slept with their dear husband of 40 years on the first date.  Read these threads and you'll see that's not the norm. 

Think of two teenaged boys for a moment.  Imagine one boy works fastfood and cuts grass to save money to buy his first car.  Imagine the other boy's father gives him a brand new car.  Which boy appreciates and takes better care of his car?  The one that earned it. 

Boys/men; generally speaking, do not appreciate a thing that they don't earn or work for.  Some more qualified to speak on this topic than I am have said that 90 days is a rule of thumb.  That a guy is not usually going to hang around for longer than 90 days w/o sex if he's playing games. 

He got it, probably realized how easy it was and may have started wondering: "Damn.  If I got it that quick......how many others have gotten it like that?" 

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