50's + & Fascinating

If you have worked all your years, raised your kids who are now in college and are still working like a dog, what is so fascinating about being 50? No, I don't have good health, no, I don't think that prayer is answer, no I don't think that volunteering will help. Quite frankly I would like to start a volunteer mission in my name so I can be saved from this hell. I should be thankful I am alive? What being alive as to do with it when all you do is work, two jobs to make ends meet and your life is one big empty ball of blackness.  All these Cougar shows on television, what is up with that?  Actress who have had several little secret plastic surgeries done to them can afford to pass themselves off as Cougars. Oh by the way I am not thin and ageless looking.  I have suffered a lot in life, I am a couple of pounds overweight.  I go to gym after work, usually it is late at night and it is hell.  Can't quit, won't have a pension, won't have health insurance, won't have a house over my head.  I feel like a hamster on a wheel.  My friends all working, many two jobs like me, life is supposed to be a bed of roses for folks in their 50's? That is when all the diseases set in like heart attacks, osteoarthritis, GERD, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, diabetes.  Of course, there may be some smug person out there who reads my post and goes, "Oh poor her,  I have a great 401K and all my credit cards are paid off, and I vacation every year. She is punishing because she deserves it". I wrote on the other 50's board about a friend who is deeply depressed and suffering right now, she is in her 50's, been out of the work place raising her kids, now no one wants to hire her.  Quite frankly I don't care about being fascinating, the wrinkles don't bother me, when I die I will be cremated.  I don't see retirement as an option, I only see long, long, long, long years of hard work ahead.  Tell me, who are these fascinating 50 year olds?  Probably married to wealthy men, or working in high paying jobs. From where I am standing, the 50's just ain't fascinating to me, and I believe that goes for a large majority of women in this country. 

Hi and welcome to the board! Let me start off by saying that you and I do have a lot in common; I've worked all my life and continue to work, my health could be better, I'm overweight, in debt and worry about finances and the future.  There are days your "hamster on a wheel" remark fits me perfectly; I feel like I'm racing fast to nowhere. Retirement? I can't even comprehend a time when I'll be able to retire.

But I still find life fascinating; tiring at times, yes, but fascinating none the less. Am I fascinating? Probably not to anyone else; I'm just another woman, wife and mom, working, raising a family and facing the struggles of life -- the hardships, the heartbreaks and the drama of surviving. Maybe what helps me is that when I do face down a seemingly insurmountable problem and make any type of progress, I take a moment to savor the triumph. It may not be much progress, but it's a step ahead and as long as I can keep moving ahead, I win. ;-)

Sometimes it is hard to find something positive; the day to day problems mount up and can overwhelm us so easily, making it hard to recognize the good things in our lives. So we have to stop ourselves and make the time to seek out those small pleasures that are our rewards. Life is hard, there's no doubt, but attitude and perception can be a wonderful defense against the negatives. I've got 50 years experience at the game of life under my belt and when I look back at it all, the bottom line is that in spite of all life has thrown at me, I'm still up at bat. And I'm curious about what is waiting for me around the next curve! LOL

Well, my dear, I'm glad you've joined us! And I mean that!

I'm well over 50 and in bad health. I'm what is known as obese. I lost my only child shortly after birth and I had/have a mother that let it be known that she didn't want me. I have a brother who will probably spit on my grave - if he lives that long. I was sexually molested at the age of 4 and I remember it as if it were only a short time ago. I lost my dad and my first husband - both of them my heroes and best friend. Life has been tough all the way along.

I don't work because I'm disabled and my husband and myself live on Social Security. Utilities and a house payment comes out of our monthly checks, along with having to provide for 11 pets. It ain't easy.

My husband was involved in a horrific auto accident and we didn't know for the first 3 days if he'd survive. He was gone for 6 weeks before the doctors finally sent him home. Today he has 4 rods and umpteen bolts and screws holding him together, His one leg is shorter than the other from bone loss and he has to have specially made shoes. He'll never run again and he'll never know again what it would be like to go shopping for his favorite tennis shoes. We ARE retired. But not by choice. We've had to give up so much and my dream of having a "real" family died years ago. Life hasn't exactly been "fascinating" at any time throughout my life.

You're right - to a point - that these years bring with them heart disease, stroke, diabetes, high blood pressure and arthritis. But I've seen all those in a number of children, as well. My mother is 92 and she's never been sick a day in her life. That is, until 10 years ago when she was diagnosed with bladder cancer. She is a survivor - cancer free. She still tends to her flower gardens and plays pool and cards with friends. She has 1 dog and 2 cats that depend on her. If only I had been so lucky! But, to hear her tell it, her life has been rough and without reward. Huh?? I'll certainly never live until I'm 92. If I do, it'll be years of pain - physically and emotionally.

My credit cards aren't paid off and our last vacation was over a year ago. That was the first vacation we had had in years. As for your friend, I'm truly sorry that she's having to go through so much, but jobs are scarce everywhere. We're in a rotten economy and I don't see it getting any better soon. It's tough on everyone.

Every day, I thank God for the riches in my life. I have a loving, supportive husband, my own home, and I'm doing what I love to do best - rescuing dogs and cats. I wouldn't give it all up for all the money in the world.

It's drawing near to my bedtime and so I'd like to tell you more. That is, if you want me to. Can I do that another time? I REALLY am glad you found us and I'd like to be here for you.

Wishing you a moment of peace, Geri