Women at Work

To me it *does* sound like your confidence could be coming across very differently to your coworkers. Superiority or arrogance, perhaps. I am also curious how long you have worked with these people because if it's more than 2-3 months I imagine some of them know you quite well (?)

OTOH, I suppose it's possible that these people do have some jealousy and/or self-esteem issues. Like you, it's difficult for me at times to deal with people who have low self-esteem or a degree of self-hatred. I am a larger sized woman but I feel comfortable in my own skin, I feel pretty & capable etc. I don't spend a lot of time worrying about who is thinner or prettier than I am because IMHO I'm pretty, smart, funny, etc. Not in a conceited way. But in a confident way. Anyway...when I meet someone who is constantly comparing themselves to others, dislikes people who are thinner/prettier/wealthier, etc...it's hard for me to swallow that attitude. Likewise, I don't have time or patience to really DRAW people out of their little cocoon if they are super shy or insecure. I won't be rude to them but I'm not going to stop and "baby" them...naturally having healthy self-esteem, it's difficult for me to understand sometimes how other people think.

However, I would not just *assume* that people don't like you because you are attractive and confident. Sometimes it's like a self-fulfilling prophecy, kwim? If you expect people to be intimidated by your confidence and being a bit of a "diva"...they probably will be. I strongly believe in that sort of thing. Maybe you are coming across as kind of flippant and again, superior.

BTW I also work for a similar sized nonprofit org. with a similar male to female ratio.

Ok...so you're walking down the hall and 3 people see you...do you say hi to any of them? If not, how come? If yes, do you get a response? If someone comes into your office/cubicle/space, do you say hi? Why or why not?

I work with mostly women also. We only have about 15 on staff, but only 2 are male. I always say hi. I always ask how they are. To the best of my knowledge I'm liked by all (yes there are occasional problems)

I too would say I have higher self confidence than most and I also have a tough time with those who never exhibit any self confidence. So I'm asking these questions to try and see/understand what your coworkers might be seeing.

 diggingforfire,

Thank you for commenting on my post!

To start, I have in fact been working in this company for more than 3 months...but I can assure you that few people know me. For the most part I keep to myself, I say hello and acknowledge everyone but my tight knit circle is no more than 2 people.

I am not flippant but if someone's energy is off and I can feel them sizing me up then maybe they will feel my discontent with their attitude.

Also, I don't think I'm assuming anything but who else can better assess their experiences other than the person living it? I am not one of those people who go around calling people jealous to feel good about me. If anything, I'd love to work in a "kumbaya" atmosphere.

Like you, I am not in the business of  comforting or cajoling others out of their shell or their insecurity.....especially when they hate you, idolize you, and will cut your throat at any given opportunity.

I am more willing to help when the someone realizes they have a problem and will make an effort to seek guidance....