Women at Work

Hi, I'm new to this board and I wanted to get other womens' opinion about this situation at work.

I've worked at an occupational therapy firm with all women staff for 3 years.  I work in my own office and the admin assistant sits outside my door and there is the accounting person who sits down the hall and an occupational therapist who sits down the hall in her office.  The rest of the occupational therapists work in a different office in the company.

I think that I'm not socializing enough with people but I think there's a few reasons for that.  I work reduced hours and leave early so I don't go in the lunchroom for lunch with people.  I also am shy about going up to people when they're obviously working hard and interrupting them for conversation.   I am very friendly and talkative when someone comes into my office to talk to me but I don't make a point of interrupting people when they're working. 

I find that if someone makes a point to talk to me then I am more than happy to talk to them.  But I am shut off in my own office so I would physically have to leave my office and go bother someone else to talk to them.  I also am not taking breaks or lunches because I leave early so I don't have that chance to talk to people.  I'm also really busy and have alot of work to do.  And on top of that I'm basically a quiet person, especially when I'm in a situation when I'm expected to complete alot of work.

The accounting person and the admin assistant in my office are very friendly with each other but don't really make it a point to talk to me and just say hi/bye.  The occupational therapist is a little better and she comes to my office to talk in the morning which makes me feel alot better.  The rest of the women work in the other office so I don't really see them that much but a few of them do drop by my office every few months to talk.

Someone who worked in my office before her maternity leave commented that I'm "very focused" and work hard.  I know I'm a hard worker but I don't want to shut people out.  But then people don't really make an effort to talk to me.  In my last job I was told that I work well "independently".  I just think that I mess up my work security but not talking to people and this makes me easy to get rid of.  My boss tells me though that I'm a good worker.

Does anyone else have this going on at their work?

I think you sound completely normal!

I am more of the chatty type in my "non-work life" and in my CURRENT workplace...sometimes too much (although my supervisor says I'm fine). But in past jobs, I have been a lot more focused/quiet at work, and do like to work independently. So I can relate. I think some people just click in a way and have so much in common that they become friends. I can't speak for your coworkers, but I have plenty of work associates who don't really get that involved but as long as they are friendly and positive when I DO have reason to talk to them...my thoughts of them are really good, and I think they seem like great people! The only coworkers I don't really like are the ones who constantly stir up trouble or have a VERY negative attitude...it doesn't sound like that's you at all :-)

Your situation of working reduced hours with no lunch or breaks causing a decline in your workplace chatter really makes a lot of sense...I don't know how many hours you typically work, but it sounds almost like a part-time position and I think in most workplaces, part-timers seem to have almost an extra burden of seeming very busy and useful, kwim? I do work "regular" hours with breaks/lunch, and I have a lot in common with 3 other women and hang out with them outside of work, etc.

Also - it sounds like the nature of your work IS more independent...with no need to involve others constantly, so your supervisor probably approves of your strong work ethic and being so focused. I'm quality assurance, so the nature of my position requires me to know and deal with about 80% of our staff on a very regular (weekly or monthly) basis, so instead of being tied to one dept. I am my own mini-dept. and really need to be aware of what's going on everywhere in the office.

I honestly think if I worked in another dept. I would not be as talkative or "involved". I would probably limit my visiting a lot more. Like you, I don't feel comfortable interrupting others in their office just to chat. I take work pretty seriously. However, in my case there are always audits, reports, and other little (work-related) reasons for me to talk to people, so while I'm there I usually end up making small talk or discussing fun/personal things with employees too.

I really don't think you have anything to worry about as long as you're friendly and talkative when people approach you. It may sound weird but I do think it's important to keep up the hi/bye stuff with the employees who work closest to your office, I've seen that drop off between coworkers at times and it can seem tense and unnatural...even though sometimes the constant hello/goodbye seems unnatural too ;-)

Good luck sunny_days!

Hi, thanks for your advice...it makes me feel alot better.  I never worried this much about work when I was married but now that I'm a single mom with one income I seem to worry alot about losing my job, especially in this economy. 

I'll just keep my nose to the grind and ur right, if I'm nice enough when people talk to me and get my work done there shouldn't be anything to worry about.

Take care.

Hi there,

My work situation is very similar. One thought though is suggest meeting after work for a happy hour once a month or every other month. That way you won't feel anyone's work is impacted and you'll have a chance to know the others more and they, you. Or, another suggestion, suggest a game night (card game or bunco dice game) at your house where everyone can relax, chat, and munch. If it goes well, you can suggest a rotating game nite that each person interested can take a turn hosting per month. Good luck!

Mary