Women at Work

Hi, I got some great answers to my last question I posted on here so if u could help me again with ur advice that would be great.

I'm 43 and I've worked in my job for 3 years.  I'm single and I have a really up and down dating life which bums me out most of the time.  When I started my job 3 years ago I was in a relationship and I was really happy but then the relationship ended 8 months into the job and that's when I got depressed.  Since that relationship broke up about 2 years ago I've been pretty depressed because as anyone knows who is single, dating can be very depressing.  Especially if you get involved in bad relationships.

I try to cover up my depression at work but I have to deal with clients every day and put on a happy face.  I'm the type of person who finds if very hard to cover it up if I'm feeling down and I think it must be obvious to my co-workers and boss that I'm bummed out.  I am just afraid that I'm going to lose my job because I'm not very happy with my single life right now.

I don't know for sure if my boss knows that I'm depressed because she has never said anything to me.  And I don't know if my co-workers know that I'm depressed because I am pretty private about my personal life and nobody has ever made a comment that I seem depressed...one coworker did ask me once if I was having a low energy day.  There was another girl at work who openly admitted to everyone that she was depressed, was seeing a therapist and was taking medication.  I was amazed that she shared this with everyone.  She left the company about 1 year ago but she managed to do her job very well, even with the depression.  She told me that she was able to cover up the depression when she was working with clients...I'm just not that good at covering up mine.

I'm just so stressed out with trying to cover up the fact that I'm depressed every single day while I meet with clients.  For the first 8 months of my job I was really happy but since that relationship broke up I've basically been bummed out on and off because of my crazy dating life. 

Has anyone been bummed out at work with a bad relationship or break up and how do u cover it up? 

I know this might not be much help, and counseling is expensive...but to me it sounds like counseling may be the only thing to truly help you.

There may also be free support groups in your area, and those could help but finding the right fit is tricky from what I have heard...some support groups for depression wind up being downers in themselves & lending an even more negative bent.

As for hiding your depression at work...I really think that is just a personal matter, and difficult to change. When I am depressed, angry, or sick I *very easily* manage to keep up a facade of being happy, upbeat, energetic, etc. But it's not something I had to learn - that's just how I am, and how I was conditioned from a young child. It really is not healthy and can hide a lot of serious issues sometimes.

hi, thanks for your reply.  Ur right, counselling might be an option.  But in the meantime I'm going to try to be upbeat, positive and energetic at work.  If so many people can do it when they're feeling lousy then I'm sure I can too.  It's all about acting I guess.  I've seen my brother do it and lots of other people.  I know a girl who is really depressed but is the most upbeat person you'd ever meet.  I guess it takes practise.  Thanks for the advice.

I see two things here. I see being able to separate your personal and work life and then I see the being so unhappy being single.

I can't imagine going through life "acting" all of the time. Yes, counseling would be really beneficial. I wonder though if you can work on trying to separate out the two sides of your life. When at work, think about work, think about the people at work, the job you're doing etc.

Look around and see if their is a mental health clinic that will work with you on a sliding scale. You'll gain tips that will help you learn to separate the two but also to be happy being single, legitimately happy :)