Women at Work

Hello,

Ever since I was in Jr. High school, I knew I wanted to be an engineer.  I got an engineering degree and enjoyed doing so.  I started a career as a software engineer and enjoyed it for 10 years or so.

Today, I have no interest or joy in working, and I don't know what happened.  I have lost all interest in my job, my company, my coworkers.  I have an opportunity to move into project management or remain an engineer... I don't want to do either.  I don't want to become a stay-at-home mom either.  I've looked for another career and haven't found anything even remotely engaging.

I'm not sure what happened to me, or what to do now.  I'm currently "going thru the motions" at work, but inevitably I will become a performance issue (I've never been one before).

I've been slowly falling in this hole for over 2 years now and I'm really getting worried about this.

Anyone experience this before?  Any advice on what I should do next?  I'm willing to leave my job if I had somewhere to land that will bring the sun back.

Thanks,

Emily.

I do agree with the pp...

However, I could have written your post about 10 years ago. I had been an engineer for about 10 years and was a bit bored. I decided that engineering was not for me and went back to school, got an MBA from top notch school, did management consulting for a few years and now am now in sr management doing strategy type work in the finance industry (nothing engineering related). I am happy most of the time and truly like doing what I do.

Through this process though I did figure that I like the journey more than the destination. I know now that for me, the longest that I can stay in one posiiton is about 4 years. After about 4 years, I start to self destruct if I do not have a new goal / destination. I have been with current position 2 years and am starting to think through what I want to do next so that I can set myself up for next position (most likely in same company) over next 1-2 years.

I would do as pp recomended and make sure you are not depressed and then figure out what types of things you like to do and where you want to go next. The project management may be a good interim step and even if you do not care for the position, you may be able to gain new skills to leverage in the future.

Good Luck

Ali

Thanks so much Ali and Lisa for your replies!

I think I might indeed be getting depressed... but I think it's because I have to spend so much time in a job I have zero interest in!  I say that because I had the opportunity to take a temporary 3-month rotation into a job in media, not related at all to my current "real" job.  During that rotation, I started to feel like myself again, something I haven't felt in YEARS.  I had some FUN!  I liked my new coworkers.  Old friends started making comments like "your skin looks better" and "you're smiling?"... I know it's because I was in this new job and I liked it.

Now the rotation is over and I'm back to software.  And the fun is gone again.  I did everything but beg that Media manager to hire me permanently but she cannot raise her headcount (like most places). 

I am continuing to look for openings in media-type groups in my company, but I don't work in a media company so they are rare.  I thought about going back to school to get a media degree, but the jobs I can find in my area that I could take are 50% less pay than I'm currently making, and I don't want my family to suffer so I can have some fun... assuming I would still think it was fun after all that.

I know I sound pessimistic, maybe I am, but I'm just trying to be real about where to go from here.  I NEED to enjoy my work again.  I cannot spend more years like this.  But I must not negatively affect my family while I do it.

I've considered opening a small business like a florist shop- it would be like my own "project" to work on.  But it seems that would take a lot of time away from my young sons to operate...

I'm trying to find a way.

Thanks,

Emily.