Women at Work

Hi all,

I am new to this board but since I am a working mom, here I am.  Some background: my daughter is 20 months old and having been working from home since she was born with the exception of 1 day a week when I would go into my office and my in-laws would babysit.  Then it got to be too much for them and my job situation has changed where I need to go into the office 5 days a week starting in January.  So I found a good daycare and am starting my daughter off 3 days a week to get adjusted before starting a 5 day a week program.  Yesterday was her first day.  She took to it right away.  The problem is me.  I went home and bawled my eyes out and since I am still working from home for the time being, I am very lonely without her.  I feel like part of me is missing.  Yes, I can get more done but I worry if she will eat enough.  Yesterday she came home hungry because she didn't eat all that much.  She has always been picky and is more interested in her surroundings than sitting down to eat (which is why I usually chase her around with food in my hand).  The problem I have is a control issue.  I have a problem with anyone watching her that is not me (even my husband) because I feel that no one can take better care of my daughter than me.  Now with daycare starting, I feel even more anxious and my thoughts are all about her (how is is doing, is she eating well, etc). 

How can I overcome this?  How do other moms cope with leaving their young children in daycare all day?  How can I make sure she eats enough while away from me (I pack all her food each day for her time there).  Do other moms have the same worries and what do you do to make sure your little ones are getting the best care possible when someone else is taking care of them.

Sorry for being long winded.  I am just so emotional right now.

Thanks!

I don't have any advice for you but I just wanted to offer some hugs/support.  I think that would be incredibly hard.  I am child-free by choice but believe it or not, I think if I had a child I would have a VERY hard time leaving them in the same situation.  Sometimes I don't even like to leave my dog in the morning and if my husband has the day off it kills me to go to work and I just want to be with him.

Maybe it will get easier though...I know it is probably so hard, but at least you will have time to get used to 3 days a week before it changes to 5 days a week.  I don't suppose it would be possible to look for something else that would allow you to work from home permanently?  I know the job market is crazy right now...but good luck!!

Hugs,

Angela

I don't know if this will help, but I've always been maternal so I did daycare out of my home after my 3rd son was born.  I found a great family with 3 girls and they fit right in with my family. 

One day one of the girls was not feeling well - she was about 3.  The mom was aprehensive about leaving & asked her daughter if she wanted to go home, but her daughter climbed up on my lap to cuddle and told her mom she just wanted to stay with me.  It was like a Hallmark moment - so sweet. 

I never tried to take the place of their mom, but from that day forward I know that mom felt good knowing her kids were in good hands & I felt good about being able to offer her that comfort.

Just wanted to show that it's very possible to find a loving child-care provider that will take very good care for your daughter.  

My son, Jared, has been in daycare since he was 12 weeks old (he's now 7 months, 1 week).  He goes three days a week and the grandmothers watch him the other two days.  Jared actually eats more when at daycare than at home...he naps better at home though and barely naps at the daycare.  So he's awake more at daycare and will eat more I guess. 

Anyways, that very first day I dropped him off, I came home (I started back to work on a Wed. but took him in for a half-day on the Mon. before as an adjustment day) and bawled my eyes out too.  But he too did really well as far as not being fussy or giving the ladies a hard time.  I really think he loves it there...playing with kids his size, different toys, different people.  So that really helps me to get along ok with it.  If I heard all the time he was fussing and having a hard time, then I'd feel worse about leaving him there.  But I think daycare has its benefits for him.  It's gotten easier over time to leave him with someone else, but yes, understandably it's a difficult thing to start out doing.  Hopefully you get to feeling better about it.  It will be a huge adjustment for you considering you've been home with your daughter for 20 months...it's a big change.  Good luck! 

Oh, as far as her eating enough... just make it clear to the daycare workers that you expect her to eat what you send in each day.  They're supposed to follow your instructions and do what they can to meet those requests. 

Kari, mommy to...

Thank you scrappyjill for my lovely siggy!

  

I concur with the previous poster that you should follow up with the daycare regarding your concerns about your daughter not eating properly.  It could just be that because of the new surroundings your daughter just needs to adjust to everything before she can concentrate on her food, but the daycare should assist her in that.  You're the one who knows your daughter the best, so it may help to point these things out to those new to her care.  I am sure you will never feel completely comfortable with anyone else taking care of your daughter, but as long as she's in safe surroundings, is being fed and cared for, hopefully that will take the edge off.