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Ask the Wedding Expert: Budgets & More

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discussion title:
 

First dance song dilemma

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message #:
  1070.1
replies:
  5
from:
  hipjaz
date:
  Oct-4 8:56 pm

Hi everyone. I was looking for a first dance song since my fiance and I don't have "our song" and a common song we both like is a techno song which we don't want to dance to as our first song.

my issue is, I wanted an alternative rock song and I REALLY like this song called Cath by Death Cab for Cutie however when reading to the lyrics, I found out the song is about this girl who is either dying or losing faith in herself and is marrying some guy that she really doesn't love. the people who attend the wedding also know that she shouldn't marry him and the marriage won't last.

i know the song is completely inapproporiate however, the tune, the beat the everything about it, i just love and i see myself dancing to it...as long as no one pays attention to the lyrics, yet part of me feels like if i dance to a song with lyrics like that, I'm cursing my marriage.

My other option was Maps by The Yeah Yeah Yeahs. I's nice but really upbeat and not one that my husband to be and i could dance to slowly. The lyrics of this song are more approporiate   "They don't love you like I love you" but once again, more fast paced. I cannot thik of any other songs I want to dance to.

I wanted to know if it would be okay for me to dance to the first song, Cath,  despite the lyrics. I have dreamed of dancing to that song...until i read the lyrics. if only the lyrics could be changed.

Thanks everyone!!
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discussion title:
 

First dance song dilemma

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message #:
  1070.2 in response to 1070.1
replies:
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from:
  cl-crewcox88  Member Icon
to:
  hipjaz
date:
  Oct-6 12:20 am

Personally, I wouldn't want to start my marriage and first dance off with lyrics like that so I'd definitely pass on the song and keep looking.  It can definitely take awhile to find the right one.  Music is so personal but keep looking- you'll find one!  You can try searching online for first dance songs but usually the ones that come up are the typical (At last, It had to be you, etc) and it doesn't sound like you'd be all that interested in those.

Hopefully some of our other members will have some suggestions for you!

Melissa
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discussion title:
 

First dance song dilemma

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message #:
  1070.3 in response to 1070.1
replies:
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from:
  sharon_naylor  Member Icon
to:
  hipjaz
date:
  Oct-7 10:14 am

Hmmm, a song with questionable lyrics isn't ideal...even if you love the beat and love the song for right now, is it the kind of song that you'll still think fondly about in 10 years? Is it a song you'll hear on the radio or on TV in the future that brings you back to that moment in time?

One solution might be for you to sit down with your groom and list out all of the songs that have meant a lot to you during your courtship. What's the first song you slow-danced to? What are some songs you've enjoyed on your favorite dates? What are some songs that were a part of when you got engaged? Often, it's the songs in your love story that make the best First Dance song.

When my husband and I started thinking about our first dance song, and our last dance song, we went through our iPod playlists and looked on iTunes, and I even read back through my journal from when we were dating to get some great song ideas. And even if it's not THE song for your first dance, maybe you enjoyed a song by The Police on a date, and a different song from The Police would be a great first dance song....

The author of over 35 wedding books, including titles on bridal showers, wedding budgeting, outdoor weddings, vows, toasts, and books for the mothers of the bride and groom. Visit www.sharonnaylor.net for more information on Sharon's newest books, and visit her iVillage blog "Planning in Peace" for tips on stress-free wedding planning.
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Oct-28


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discussion title:
 

First dance song dilemma

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message #:
  1070.4 in response to 1070.3
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from:
  adecamp
to:
  sharon_naylor  Member Icon
date:
  Oct-28 6:07 pm

What about The Luckiest by Ben Folds? It's slow and beautiful and from more of an alternative artist, so it might fit what you're looking for. And the words, I think, are perfect for any marriage to start to.
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discussion title:
 

First dance song dilemma

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message #:
  1070.5 in response to 1070.1
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from:
  imotherothers  Member Icon
to:
  hipjaz
date:
  Oct-28 6:15 pm

I would do Cath w/o the lyrics - just the music. Ask the DJ if he can cut the lyrics - sometimes on their equipiment depending on the recording type you can cut them out.

Now I am gonna have to go find tha tsong and listen to it. lol
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